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yuchen_zhang_5379
yuchen_zhang_5379Lv12yr
2023-01-26 06:58

Hi! My name is Victoria and you write really well! I would like to inquire if you are interested in trying to work on an interactive novel? Our company is in the beginning stages of rolling out this scripted interactive game worldwide, so if you'd like to work on a new paid creation or would like to do that adaptation of the book, please feel free to get in touch with me!

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Other Reviews
R4GE
R4GELv14

For the most part its typical returner vrmmo fair, but the Author makes 2 very bold decisions that stand out, however, they also don’t seem to have thought through the consequences. 1) The NPCs are near lifeless automatons running a script and listening to key words, with occasional cutscenes. The author describes NPC interactions and story elements as boring to even the mc so what does it mean for anyone to play this game, why are they doing it at all, it can't be just combat gameplay right? Leads to point 2. 2) The author casually tosses out an absolute bombshell that time moves 48x faster in the game. This has insane consequences: the mc returned after 12 years means he is nearly 500 years old. With the game a person with a lifespan of 100 years could live closer to 4800 years! This is also where most of the logic of the story breaks down. Why did the company make a game when they invented the fountain of eternal life? Why would a company make a game when they made the ultimate productivity machine? How are relationships affected when a weekend apart is over 2 months of separation (16 hours a day gaming, 2 days becomes 64)? How is work affected? On Mondays I forget what I was working when leaving on Friday, just 48 hour gap imagine a 64 days. Also in game timing has numerous errors because author does not consistently consider the 48x speed when narrative requires cooldowns for abilities or delays in quests, or when MC talks about how much time has elapsed. Why does the MC act like a 20 year old when he is the oldest human on the planet after his return? Why is he attracted to anyone not mentally in their hundreds, or getting flustered by anything he should have seen it all and become a curmudgeonly person right? Other points of interest for me: - So far the MC is a near pure mage (yay!), unfortunately there are hints of him becoming a boring typical magic swordsman considering his last life was a sword class and him wielding a staff covered in fire occasionally. - Shadow powers are cool -He knows way too much about the game, from his perspective his early unlocks should be things he heard in rumours 500 years ago not something he knows in detail and can just follow the steps. He should be able to sniff out points of interest not know exactly where they are and every intimate detail. - The game presents all the stats and abilities of the enemies; this is bad for both the game and the narrative. Why not make the combat more exciting for both the characters and readers if abilities need to be guessed at like in a real fight. Each fight could be far far more interesting. In conclusion if you have read a returner VRMMO you have probably know what to expect, but the flavor of a shadow mage who at least for now isnt a lame magic swordsman has me liking the brew. The author has 2 bold choices that I think they could lean into to really spice up what makes this story more unique than a typical entry in the genre.

ManEatingTurtle
ManEatingTurtleLv3
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