Okay this is pretty good. Scenes are very vividly fleshed out. I like the repetition and emphasis, it feels very raw. The mc internal monologue as he argues with himself provides a good way to add some lightheartedness and comedic relief. Some areas that could use minor improvement is wording, sometimes the words you use are not at all fitting. For example "the (soggy) clothes got wet," or "smelt so good that I thought I (would faint if I didn't eat it.)" There are also a few typos here and there, but other than that the reading felt smooth and I actually enjoyed reading it. This will definitely be a popular novel in time.
daniz_
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