its alright I suppose. The grammar is pretty good, and the story flow nicely. Though, the characters feel a bit too one dimentional. Also, this might just be a personal thing, but there isnt enough descriptions for the environment. Sure its fanfic and relies on the reader to have prexisting knowledge of how things look, but a little bit more couldve helped. other than that, the fic is pretty solid.
Azazyel
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