Your characters felt hollow. Lacking in another word. You've already established the world background and even the side character story background so seamlessly that it impress me but then, the chapter about the 'Black Group' entering the lab for Jake's energy stone to 'level up' I was expecting the character development. you know? His own development,we already get the idea that he's the clown of the group, the failure in the eyes of his parents etc. etc. You've made your point. And was extremely excited that He realized that what was the point of getting the gem if they died and with the sacrifice of kitty/Kate to escape from the ants and the pressure of not being able to get out and added another pressure from the gf fainting or he shouldn't have pushed Kyle to go find his gem element to immediately rank up. I sense the character development. Also Dylan? The silent of the three could've felt the pressure especially with the mutant ants rank 4 and up digging below. And then what? Kitty awake, Kyle level up, gf awaken etc. Etc. Err author what's the point of that adventure the thrill or the sci-fi you classified this novel as? you shouldn't write you know if it's for the sake of making more money or if it's readers satisfaction, if you can't take criticism or you yourself just tooo influenced by Chinese webnovel but the thing is I've read many Chinese novels but they have one thing many people want, change. I like the characters, the concept of our mc being cat, and even Kyle who's cold cuz of trauma (typical ml) but Err 'naughty little kitty' thing? Aughr eww. and also always same attitude towards kitten except being suspicious of the cats identity by testing blood and being soften by few character development (when Kate knew Kyle massacred few people and more. )and few grammar errors otw that's fine but please, find an editor or even proofreader if this novel of yours is behind pay wall every chapter before 45 right? . And even some of your chapters felt incomplete like you literally cut them in half literally and figuratively. There's a limit on how much you can take before people leaving unsatisfied with your book I just reached from 150+ chaps but ahh meh. Ill try to read more to see your improvements on your story after you read my critique and maybe I'll read more soon. Alos don't be offended from some of my words or some of the double meaning behind them of that helps, I won't be sorry but if I'm wrong in some points I'd point out please correct me, I may or may not leave some info around to analyze more.
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it's fine, I don't mind getting critique and I have faced harsher curses and others that couldn't be seen due to the censor system here. I mainly write this story because I want to and I was trying to cross genres after reading too many similar themes novels 😅 (before being an author, I'm naturally also a reader) Idk about your expectations when reading the story, I mainly write a light-hearted one that didn't have heavy conflicts. Even if there's some character development, it was not much for this story 🤔 there's only some changes and yeah, it's indeed far from perfect. If you wished to read a lot of character development, then this might not be your cup of tea. 😅 for editor... I usually edit myself with the help of word or Google word. I'll pay more attention to it along with the grammar as much as possible. (>.<) thank you for your review 🙂
My expectations is just you know Jake's just can't be the clown of the group like I expect something more from him and even Dylan in the face of pressure in the 'getting the gem for Jake scene' with kitty's space collapse, I thought maybe I'll see some development that they don't have eto depend on Kate on every turn there's a hurdle the grain arc I can accept with them escaping with the help of kitty's space. Then here on the point I'm saying like that certain scene or arc I've talking about I can't get over it cause you know. Yknow! Like there could be a breakthrough after you added trails of breadcrumbs before that arc like the getting the grain scene and escaping from a horde of insects. I don't really know what I'm talking about now but in the face of my criticism you took it head on and I'm proud to say you look pass the attacks and face the real issue. To me that's hard to deal with, especially with many authors from the web I've encountered.
Part 2 it's also my cut of tea. Especially the concept of the the world your making it a aught my eye. I'm okay with the lighthearted and comedic novel it added for the toppings but the cherry on top is the soul of your characters or the thing I've been calling 'character dev' also I'm pointing this out so maybe yknow you could improve on it and level it up. Also please don't take some of my frustration that I hate your book. It's a meaning to some readers that were so invested in the author's story that we can't help but just complain or give pointers as a readers point of view. Ahem* that is all.. I think.
Hmm, I don't have much plan for Jake tbh, which is why his character development is the fewest 🤔 The only development is in regards of his relationship with his gf in the later chapters but for his own innate characters I set, it's a bit difficult. I'll try to add some more characteristics in the future chapters as deemed suitable. And thanks haha. After facing some unreasonable readers, yours can only be considered cute for me. 🤗 Some authors actually don't mind criticism, so perhaps you just hadn't met with the right ones 😅
Haha, it's ok. I have experienced a few readers who chased me online with a knife in discord chats 😂
