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RandomSwordsThief
RandomSwordsThiefLv132yr
2022-07-28 02:12

Mah. Branding it as wish fulfillment would be considered an understatement. The MC can buy skills and bloodlines from the system, and gift them to his loved ones. Not my cup of tea.

Reborn as naruto with system

jojojo66
4.5
45 Chs

Liked by 16 people

LIKE
Replies12
jojojo66
jojojo66Author

HEY, thnx for you review. Mc can gift his loved ones only after completing the mission .

2yr
4
RandomSwordsThief
RandomSwordsThiefLv13

I still don't like it. lol. Others might, though. The most important thing is doing what you feel best. Otherwise, you will end up losing interest and dropping the story.

jojojo66:HEY, thnx for you review. Mc can gift his loved ones only after completing the mission .
2yr
17
BestNero
BestNeroLv14

Kudos to you for being so positive. Most are super toxic.

RandomSwordsThief:I still don't like it. lol. Others might, though. The most important thing is doing what you feel best. Otherwise, you will end up losing interest and dropping the story.
image
2yr
9
Saad_Yousuf
Saad_YousufLv4

I absolutely hate the idea. just saying it. You know that giving is not the best idea.

2yr
4
Itachi_ucchiha
Itachi_ucchihaLv1

well you definitely can't beat otustuki alone.So giving the power up to his close one is not bad.

Saad_Yousuf:I absolutely hate the idea. just saying it. You know that giving is not the best idea.
2yr
4
Saad_Yousuf
Saad_YousufLv4

Well defeating otsuski is not that hard. Plus how do you think increasing the power of people around naruto will. Even characters like pain would or could be squashed liked bug there will be no struggle and every one will be super op kind of like multi millionaire purposely living in village and showing of their money. it's a lame idea.

Itachi_ucchiha:well you definitely can't beat otustuki alone.So giving the power up to his close one is not bad.
2yr
3
Itachi_ucchiha
Itachi_ucchihaLv1

defeating them not hard? oh boy you living in a false world ain't you. Author says loved one so is basically means mc wife or the people who will be in harem.if the author stick to his, word then it will five people, who hace the strenght to fight otsuki.

Saad_Yousuf:Well defeating otsuski is not that hard. Plus how do you think increasing the power of people around naruto will. Even characters like pain would or could be squashed liked bug there will be no struggle and every one will be super op kind of like multi millionaire purposely living in village and showing of their money. it's a lame idea.
2yr
Saad_Yousuf
Saad_YousufLv4

Are you or Author's alternate account? You don't have to really defeat otsuski. You can just not let the Akatsuki live and boom otsuski will still be sealed or you can just kill zetsu and as for giving power up to his loved ones. If he only gave it to his harems I would look down on him more because it would make him look like a Mc who literally stands in the line of " If you are not a hoe get you a** up because you are not getting the power up from me though." And do you ducking realize how easy it would be for them to deal with villains and how worth less the villains will seem. they would seem like ants.

Itachi_ucchiha:defeating them not hard? oh boy you living in a false world ain't you. Author says loved one so is basically means mc wife or the people who will be in harem.if the author stick to his, word then it will five people, who hace the strenght to fight otsuki.
2yr
3
Itachi_ucchiha
Itachi_ucchihaLv1

No,I am not author.I am just here for reading comments see if the story is good or not.lol.After chap 4 I didn't read beacuse of so much cringe. Well for the part you say if he give power to only his family it's basically mention in the first chap.

Saad_Yousuf:Are you or Author's alternate account? You don't have to really defeat otsuski. You can just not let the Akatsuki live and boom otsuski will still be sealed or you can just kill zetsu and as for giving power up to his loved ones. If he only gave it to his harems I would look down on him more because it would make him look like a Mc who literally stands in the line of " If you are not a hoe get you a** up because you are not getting the power up from me though." And do you ducking realize how easy it would be for them to deal with villains and how worth less the villains will seem. they would seem like ants.
2yr
NatsuTempest
NatsuTempestLv4

this review saved me from wasting time I have never liked it when the mc can give people abilities or bloodlines to me it also makes it seem like of mc has this well let's see how many more chapters till everyone has that because of mc

2yr
1
LORD_sKY
LORD_sKYLv1

Check out Naruto: Time Manipulation yes I'm the author and I have no shame in promoting it

2yr
G1LGAMESH
G1LGAMESHLv14

Can't beat the white aliens alone? I think you're forgetting mc system have a store function and as stated earlier, he can buy bloodlines. And let's not talk about the fact that this is a wish fulfillment fanfic.

Itachi_ucchiha:well you definitely can't beat otustuki alone.So giving the power up to his close one is not bad.
2yr
Other Reviews
jojojo66
jojojo66Author

The SHAMELESS author here..... 1. First few chapters have many grammatical errors. But it will get good in later chapters 2. At least read 20chap before giving a review :3 3. English is not my first language. so there can be many small mistakes. If you can avoid those mistakes then give this fanfic a chance -.-

2yr

Kono_Timoda
Kono_TimodaLv3

Current chapter: 29 Yeah, author come here. Get closer. Closer, *whispers* why did you give a logia devil fruit TO A WORLD THAT HAS NO HAKI!! You probably know this but the MC should literally be untouchable, but not to worry you could have overcome this issue with good execution, great dialog and interesting character integrations, but man, you are bad. Tips: See and don't tell - you don't have to narrate everything the person is doing For lemon scene - too many pronouns, use complex and compound sentences. use descriptive language, disturb how the persons feel physically and emotionally. Don't rush - making love should be passionate, not h*ntai. Pro tip: describe the little things, the little details that shows that the person cares. You passing is too fast in my book, and it doesn't feel like I am reading a gurney, instead I feel like I am reading ideas out of someone's head as they come up with what to say. Last tip: if you have novels that you think are expertly executed and you enjoy the character interaction, the power scaling, they do the fight scenes, the setting, immersion etc. read it again and analyze it. so how he does the dialogs, what does he make the MC say vs what he feels, how does he scribe what the MC is seeing or feeling and the list goes on. Its a lot of work but if you want to get good, you need to do all that. No getting around it.

2yr
Febfew
FebfewLv11

Reveal spoiler

2yr
Daoista7SJC8
Daoista7SJC8Lv1

[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

2yr
Ezzaldien_s
Ezzaldien_sLv3

More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More More

2yr
Gd_Sys
Gd_SysLv4

moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeererreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeererreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeererreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2yr
_GoldenKing_
_GoldenKing_Lv5

This is really promising! I look forward to the full story 'till the end and without the author dropping it! .

2yr
Jordi_Hardiansyah
Jordi_HardiansyahLv1

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

1yr
ANANTA
ANANTALv4

No need to write anything for it's good!

2yr
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