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bibiyenini
bibiyeniniLv32yr
2022-06-29 10:26

What I noticed about the premise is the repetition of words. But don't get me wrong, it's alright for me, since I've been there too as a newbie author. It's a matter of learning process to execute well like one of the top authors. Besides, writing the synopsis and improving at the same time really takes up a lot of effort. Your story is good, has an distinguishable plot, and knowing this came from the male lead, I can't say anymore about its fantasy elements (since, it's not really my cup of tea). On the title, well, it could improve. I suggest you expound your vocabularies when it comes to titles. Like what kind of system the main character has? Is he cultivating? Is he a mage? Or anything about the SYSTEM elements I really don't know about or just seen somewhere. What I'm saying is, you can be better, dear author. Don't lose hope upon writing. After all, you don't write to express your talent and make everyone look at you, you write because you wanted to write. And don't lose motivation to do that. Good luck on your future endeavors!

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