Review Detail of DaoistjpluSs in Winds of Change (DxD)
Review detail
The fact that you wanted to create unnecessary drama ruined my desire to see the sequel. Your desire to mature your MC is interesting but misconceived. Making drama about his girls is, in my opinion, the most useless thing ever. The guy already protects them with shadow soldiers and rings, and pays attention to their safety, knowing that his relatives are not invincible like him. To insist on it's exaggerated and forced from my point of view. Assuming this drama is a great idea, how are you going to do it? Are you still going to have "coincidences"? For example, "oh no, I forgot to put Iris in her shadow..." or "oh no, she forgot to put her ring..."? Because I say it honestly, your novels are excellent in my opinion. But far from being perfect. And the errors which return to you all the time it's the fact that you didn't manage to do coherent things to advance the plot, to the point of making the characters stupid. Let me explain. For example, in this chapter, the MC lets the fallen angels go with a dumb reason as "I don't know.". Letting readers know that this is all for the plot, but precisely, readers shouldn't realize it so obviously. This makes the story "horrible" to watch, as readers experience reading from an MC who mentally nerf himself to take the story on a dramatic course. Again, your desire to mature your MC is a good idea, and that's what you usually do in a story with an MC OP. For example, One Punch Man does precisely that. In later chapters, Saitama realized that his limitation in a fight by underestimating his opponent had killed his best friend/student. This scene is very good because no one would have noticed before it happened, because the plot is amazing. What you sorely miss. Also, continuing to take OPM as an example, it was Saitama's recklessness that caused Genos' "death". But in your story, as I said before, the MC already thought of protecting his girls, making the drama completely useless. I hope I haven't been too harsh. I'm pretty straightforward with my answers. Moreover, I apologize for my lack of vocabulary. I use Google Translate and Grammarly to communicate. By: Delfreed
Winds of Change (DxD)
Fictitiouz
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Unfortunately, dao of drama is getting only stronger. When it was interesting in the first volume, I was hoping for some kind of solution for Nyarlathotep's interferences (making DxD his personal domain or somehow restricting direct access for other outer gods). Instead of that, we got nerfed MC – at least it looked like that for me. When both MC and Nyarlathotep are outer gods, for some reason, MC is still being f****d over by being unable to find her or by her simply deactivating all the protections MC put on his lovers. We all know where it's going, more drama by death of one of his harem girls. What's more frustrating is when in later chapters MC found her and using 50% of his power he was able to seriously injure her, but once again by some bullshit reason she got away, taking Azrael with her. I think that if both of them have the same power, being outer gods, then you should put in place some rules for them interacting with each other. For example, taking inspiration from gravitation forces, you can make something like a sphere of influence that every outer god spreads by simply existing. The closer to the god you are, the bigger his ability to warp reality. It would be more interesting reading about MC or Nyarlathotep going around this problem to mess with each other than it being one way where Nyarlathotep do whatever she wants without repercussions. Following this train of thoughts if you will, want her to still do what she did, this solution would at least force her to come to the same planet as MC. Nyarlathotep trapping his shadow soldiers and nullifying rings enchantments remotely from somewhere in space is highly questionable if they are basically equal in power or MC being stronger like I mentioned previously. I really enjoyed the first volume of this fanfic, that's why I had to vent my emotions. Sorry if someone will find my comment aggressive, but I couldn't have done otherwise, seeing as how in my opinion a fine piece of work is starting its way downhill quality wise.
