Review Detail of Brian_Hanes_117 in CPU

Amazing story, especially the first chapter. I'd honestly rate the first chapter 5 stars, even with it not being perfect. The description is good when it's used but I feel it could be used a bit more. When I used to write, I would put quotes from the same characters in the same paragraph. But now I usually space them out into different sentences. That isn't only done with plays, if you look at some novels you will see that many authors do this. I recommend you give this a try. it makes the story a slightly easier read. Perhaps it's a stylistic preference. I'd like to know a bit more about what this universe is and what the setting is. I've started reading this story enjoying it but also feeling a bit lost. With that being said, I welcome you to take a peak at my stories "Avatar: Macai's Journey or Avatar: Lingering Tensions" if you have time.