Brian_Hanes_117
I like to write science fiction and fantasy stories. I am the same user as brianhanes117. For some reason, I cannot sign into that account. Feel free to check out my Infinite Domain series on Amazon.
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The story is well written. The updates seem to be steady, and it develops naturally. The cover is engrossing, and the intro is atypical. On the other hand, the writing format is a little odd. It seems every sentence is spaced out but I'm not really sure why that is. It would make sense if there were some sort of pattern, like spacing each quotation, however that is not the case from what I can tell. There are also moments there are proper paragraphs before going back to spacing one sentence at a time. Putting that aside, I'd like to see a bit more description. Description can be done in many ways. It can refer to specific narration that describes how characters, the environment, and other things look in the story. It can be narration that lays out what certain things smell or sound like (which isn't used as often but is pleasant to see every now-and-then). With that being said, I wish the author the best on their journey. This is an entertaining piece for whoever may be interested. Dear writer, I welcome you to check out my story "Avatar: The Vindicated Avenger". It is a spinoff of the fan expansion of the hit animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender, called "Avatar: Macai's Journey". I would love to know what you think of it. https://www.webnovel.com/book/avatar-the-vindicated-avenger_26486522605265405
Another thing I would add is to make sure that you are making an impact with relatable dialogue, drama, or humor as quickly as possible. This is an effective way to capture people's interest. Resonating with someone is particularly important at the start of a novel because that will decide how likely they are to keep reading it. How you close is also paramount but in a situation like this, the first few chapters should always be the priority.
This story has a catchy cover and title. The writing is flowery, poetic, and touching. The author clearly has a wide vocabulary. The description seems to hit most areas including visual and each sentence feels differently. I definitely think this is an awesome story. With that being said, the description goes overboard at times where it could be more efficient and straightforward. Remember, you as a writer want to reach as many readers as possible. Part of that is making sure your story is well-polished and edited. Part of that is thinking outside of the box when explaining things as you did. Another aspect of that is not going over-the-top to explain every single detail, as many people are not that interested in every detail; try to strike a balance. I wish the best to the creator on her/his future projects. To the author, I welcome you to check out my story "Avatar: The Vindicated Avenger". It is a spinoff of the fan expansion of the hit animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender, called "Avatar: Macai's Journey". I would love to know what you think of it. https://www.webnovel.com/book/avatar-the-vindicated-avenger_26486522605265405
neat
The writing quality is sooooo impeccable thus far
For this story, I have to say the cover is stellar. The narration makes for an easy and smooth read. There is some great description here. The author even goes out of his/her way to describe the senses of smell and hearing which are not commonly utilized. With that being said, it is not without its imperfections. I would like to see more visual description. This tale would benefit from more use of organic dialogue (at least for the first 8 chapters I've looked at). I wasn't a big fan of the constant use of bold words, but maybe that's a personal preference. I'd like to see a little more investment used into different characters (not just the MC) right from the get-go. Nevertheless, the progression of the story seems good overall. It is definitely a noteworthy read. Please give it a try if you're reading this. To the author, I invite you to check out my story "Avatar: The Vindicated Avenger". It is a spinoff of the fan expansion of the hit animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender, called "Avatar: Macai's Journey". I would love to know what you think of it. https://www.webnovel.com/book/avatar-the-vindicated-avenger_26486522605265405
You killed the description here too.
Nice use of smell description, that isn't used enough in Webnovels.
That description hit really well, as if I can envision the scene. Keep at it
The writing quality is top-notch. The updates are steady, and the story develops regularly. The description is awesome, the story is very good, and the cover is elegant. This is one of the better stories this platform has to offer. With that being said, I would like to see more visual description of what the environment and background looks like. Besides that, I would enjoy to see a little more humor, drama, or something else to immediately grad the readers outside of the straightforward start. It is a solid and strong tale but that doesn't mean a touch more spice wouldn't be nice. All-in-all, this is a spectacular tale that I endorse for any interested readers. To the author, I invite you to check out my story "Avatar: The Vindicated Avenger". It is a spinoff of the fan expansion of the hit animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender, called "Avatar: Macai's Journey". I would love to know what you think of it. https://www.webnovel.com/book/avatar-the-vindicated-avenger_26486522605265405
Good start
This was a top tier story. The grammar is up to par and the cover is as cool as an arctic tundra. The description is above what is typically seen on Webnovel. The plot is intriguing, and the story is incredibly gripping. I did not want to stop reading and made sure I added it to my collections. The characters are real and stand out from one another. It really is where the story shines. I won't count it against the story because of how well it handles everything else, but I would like to see more description and narration regarding what individuals and the environment look like. This is important for immersion and enhances the world background to an elite level. Even if it is only done every once in a while, but it is useful to know how main and major characters appear. Because it really stands out from the norm in quality, I'll still give it 5 stars. To the author, I welcome you to look at my story "Avatar: The Vindicated Avenger". It is a spinoff of the fan expansion of the hit animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender, called "Avatar: Macai's Journey". I would love to know what you think of it. https://www.webnovel.com/book/avatar-the-vindicated-avenger_26486522605265405
It's deplorable that he treats his sister like that
I like the description here
From what I can see, the cover is great. The grammar is good. The story itself is outstanding. Description is nice. I really enjoy this novel, so much so that I added it to my collections which is not something I regularly do. The characters are awesome. I deeply value how unique this tale is. The world background works here and keeps me guessing what will happen next. The one thing I would take away from it is that it sort of broke the "show don't tell" rule at the start where some things happened without them being fleshed out as much as they should have been. Still, this is a remarkably fun read that I highly recommend to anyone who might be on the fence. Best wishes to the author, Webnovel definitely needs more of these. To the writer, I invite you to check out my story "Avatar: The Vindicated Avenger". It is a spinoff of the fan expansion of the hit animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender, called "Avatar: Macai's Journey". I would love to know what you think of it. https://www.webnovel.com/book/avatar-the-vindicated-avenger_26486522605265405
Crazy
sheesh
Absolutely wild
I'm sorry what? Show don't tell. If he killed the children, that was really an anti-climatic way to describe it. You need to flesh out the scenes, especially ones like that.