Review Detail of LokeErBest in My Servant System

Dont like the*

1) I know it’s a slow start. I would rather focus on character development, world building, and other explanations when it makes sense, rather than when she is grown and would interrupt flow. 2) I stated that, on paper, it isn’t MC’s Harem, yes, but that it is rather more like a polygamous relationship. Jahi is the one to ‘lead’ the harem, but both actually run it. If one or the other doesn’t like something, it doesn’t happen. They have equal say in the relationship. 3) I am curious on what you think is wasted potential and what choices I made are bad. Like I stated multiple times, I want feedback so I can improve. So please, tell me where I could improve, other than speeding it up, which is something I said I was going to be doing soon anyways. I understand it won’t be for everyone, and I hope you can keep it in your collections and look at it sometime in the future and see if it is more appealing then. Thank you for the review.

Regarding the wasted potential: The premise and idea was very interesting and how you portrayed the characters was cool and different which is refreshing to see and read. The choices i think is bad: The way the characters developed further into the story wasn't really to my liking. (so you can't really improve the book unless you rewrite it, i wouldn't rewrite because of one person since you're so far in to it at this point.) Something to improve upon, especially in the earlier chapters is, maybe don't use a long paragraph to describe how a room looks like. they're so much to remember that a picture that somewhat depicts what you envisioned would be better to improve the readers experience. I'll probably pop in once in a while to see the direction the book takes, Good luck forwards.