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Tweedybird115
Tweedybird115Lv1512mth
2024-05-16 19:27

I’ve really tredged through most of the fights as it will usually go something like MC: “IM DEATH I’LL KILL YOU” Antagonist: “YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW STRONG I REALLY AM” and then the fight will never seem to have a proper resolution unless of course the enemy is just a jobber. Feels like there’s potential but needs a major rewriting to be better than decent.

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Yarakiri
YarakiriLv14

The story is really cool to follow, even if sometimes the mc's arrogance is a bit boring, it's ok. I'm not going to criticize the grammar, I don't feel good enough for that ^^'. The only downside that I find is that there are some inconsistencies and passages that are not too logical that would require a little proofreading like just for example the name of the mc which changes from one paragraph to another. *The sequel contains SPOILERS* During the fight against Kyle he reveals his true identity quietly just to show himself. Can't he just sneak attack instead of wasting time? If Kyle runs away instead of fighting, can't he tell the world who he is? Otherwise there's a moment when he beats the vampire Kyle but I don't know why he doesn't kill him straight away when he's in front of everyone, okay the other one doesn't want to kill him but why he takes the risk of speaking without real logic if you wanted to speak, do it during the fight when you were playing hide and seek with the shadows. At any time Kyle shouts to everyone his true identity. You describe a very intelligent evil mc but he is sometimes so stupid all of a sudden for no valid reason, it's a shame. Also the part where he understands that he will have to kill Lucy doesn't tell me that he really forgot Klien... It's just you who forgot him. Last passage and after I stop but at the beginning of the novel we are told that vampires do not have a soul that the mc can recover (I may have misunderstood but it seemed clear to me) and yet after that there is no There's no more problem with a single vampire. There have been other passages like that which are a little illogical and which stand out from the rest for no valid reason. *End of spoilers* Otherwise, overall it's a good read. Eager to read what follows !

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