Review Detail of Jovilynx in The Pawn’s Game: Theatre of Death

Really like the beginning of the story so far! I much prefer pieces that have elements of prosaic description in them than piece s than are pure dialogue and short paragraphs of action, so this was really a treat. You're clearly dabbling in the supernatural here with people having special abilities, and we've met two of them so far. Kiyohara is having massive problems with apparently being haunted progressively at a fast pace, which makes his ability go out of control, while Makiko can see ghosts. They have a feud, that much is established, so I wonder how they'll cooperate on solving that. Kai hasn't been fleshed out that much, but has left an impact for sure. He is trying to be a good friend, but it's not working right now. Let's hope it's gonna work out. The only thing that's actually thrown me off is the need for some editing and proofreading. I've noticed mistakes in tenses, repeating words, lack of punctuation, lack of capitalised letters, and other smaller mistakes, such as misspelled words. I'm asking you to fix that if possible and pay attention to it in the future. Good job for a good read, I hope you continue writing this![img=recommend]