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DaoistH7599X
DaoistH7599XLv42yr
2022-05-16 01:23

İ find the mc weak in the mind and also too expressive on his thoughts, it is a good point that he thinks about his existence and all but he is too caught up in it and his basic survival instinct as a human should be to better himself no matter what(i am talking about him not putting his stat points to use for a really long time and despite him coming so close to death)in such a dangerous world, there is also the fact that he does not even consider leaving gotham which in itself is not realistic too i mean it is dangerous so make a quick cash and leave it right?, he is also too emotional and too contemplative, too much awareness in emotions is also not good even though he can't put a finger in what he actually feels for a longt time, the way he thinks seems a little forced to me but the rest is good even though i pointed a lot of stuff that i didn't like your story is so far so much better than what this site offers in a great quantity, i definitely liked it. 4.4

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Lorddarkskin
LorddarkskinLv15

Other Reviews
XenonNoble
XenonNobleLv13

So! Here's my review on what I think is a DC fanfic with a ton of potential and has my mind wanting more to read. Writing Quality: So, quality wise it's good. Only reason I'm giving 3 stars is because of the errors here and there scattered about that break my immersion at times. Also, because as far as I'm aware, the author is English speaking. Even if it is auto correct, I still give 3 stars for not going back to edit the obvious ones. Stability of Updates: This is a new fanfic so not really much to review on, but so far so good. Story Development: It's good. Not original at first, but then again nothing is in fanfics, but has it's own charm and is still in it's developing stages at the moment. There is no clear goal for the MC and I like that. Not saying the author doesn't know what he's doing, but that the story is naturally developing in a way that has me thinking of multiple possibilities that I don't know the end goal. Character Design: I like the MC. I've seen comments hating on him for being a "beta MC" but that's just them reading too many OP fanfics and Wuxia face slapping BS. The MC is no pushover, but he isn't an idiot either. He's a regular guy, in a f****ed up world and is suffering from a disconnection from reality and fiction in a realistic fashion that isn't presented as being a wimpy kid but isn't treated as a nonchalant passing of rushed character development that he gets over quickly and pursues strength. He's a guuy genuinely searching for some meaning in his existence and following the most convenient path for himself until he finds it. World Background: Not much going on, but that's because it's still new. For now, it's enough, but can probably be more descriptive in terms of his (MC) current setting in scenes. Right now, it's more like a description at the start and end of scenes with some breaks in the middle that describe a scene change before going back into dialogue. But still a 5 because the details mentioned in passing are enough for the imagination. Overall: Ton of potential with a unique MC and thought process that I can see him easily become insane or "real" in the eyes of the residents of DC. It's rare seeing this type of personality and thought process being explored in a way that doesn't make it feel like I'm reading a dictionary or scientific report. This feels like a nice, simple fanfic with some spice and not like the other existential crisis MC's in stories that take one chapter to write about nothing but filler, or some that are rushed so much that there is now flow. Short Version: I like it.

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