webnovel
Drew_Paroz
Drew_ParozLv22yr
2022-06-17 21:21

I was really liking the story until the love interest lost her memories and then the MC gets NTR'ed since she does not remember him. This is not necessary for the rest of the story, there were already enough mysteries to unravel on top of the game content, but the author had to add in this terrible trope

Last Shelter Online

Sabet_Saga
4.7
292 Chs

Liked by 11 people

LIKE
Replies9
Sabet_Saga
Sabet_SagaAuthor

Thank you for your honest review. But I think you might be misunderstand. The scene that you mentioned is important. It has a connection with the other mysteries. So it just like another dot leading to the main one. I hope that you will continue reading my story so that you will know how important it is. Anyway thank you again, I really appreciate it. [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

2yr
4
Drew_Paroz
Drew_ParozLv2

It is your story, so I understand you can take it in whatever direction you want, but I feel like she could have just lost her memories [though I still hate the love interest losing memories trope]. In my opinion, having the MC get NTR'ed only adds unnecessary drama to the plot. If you wanted to show the alienation between ML and FL you could have just had FL dismiss the ML like a stranger when he approached her as you did when she first lost her memories. Adding in some other dude just to aggravate the MC would only be important to the story if the man was in some way responsible for the memory loss to claim her as a trophy or something which is disgusting enough to drop the book anyway. Overall, you are writing a good story with strong, reasonable characterization of the MC [as well as other characters, like the Aunt] who have real emotions and depth which is one of the best on the site that I have read. NTR, especially through a plot device like memory loss or family member threats, is my pet peeve and this is not the only novel I have dropped for this reason. Thank you for making the effort to create and put a good story out there and good luck

Sabet_Saga:Thank you for your honest review. But I think you might be misunderstand. The scene that you mentioned is important. It has a connection with the other mysteries. So it just like another dot leading to the main one. I hope that you will continue reading my story so that you will know how important it is. Anyway thank you again, I really appreciate it. [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
2yr
9
Sabet_Saga
Sabet_SagaAuthor

Hi Drew, thank you very much for the detail that you add. I took time to understand what you write here because I am not a native english 😭 hahaha so pardon me if I have mistake when I try to understand it🥲. I am a bit confused when you said that I added another dude in the middle of FL and ML. But actually that dude will not be ML’s rival to get his love interest back 🥲. When you read the conversation she made during her sudden lose memory, you will find this ”are you a friend of my brother?” In fact, I wrote it like this new dude was a rival to MC at the first time of his debut in the chapter. But actually I have explained who he was in the next next chapter. maybe my idea just not good enough at this chapter. Anyway thank you for your brief explanation. It means alot.[img=recommend]

Drew_Paroz:It is your story, so I understand you can take it in whatever direction you want, but I feel like she could have just lost her memories [though I still hate the love interest losing memories trope]. In my opinion, having the MC get NTR'ed only adds unnecessary drama to the plot. If you wanted to show the alienation between ML and FL you could have just had FL dismiss the ML like a stranger when he approached her as you did when she first lost her memories. Adding in some other dude just to aggravate the MC would only be important to the story if the man was in some way responsible for the memory loss to claim her as a trophy or something which is disgusting enough to drop the book anyway. Overall, you are writing a good story with strong, reasonable characterization of the MC [as well as other characters, like the Aunt] who have real emotions and depth which is one of the best on the site that I have read. NTR, especially through a plot device like memory loss or family member threats, is my pet peeve and this is not the only novel I have dropped for this reason. Thank you for making the effort to create and put a good story out there and good luck
2yr
1
Pospp
PosppLv11

Ntr?????

2yr
Drew_Paroz
Drew_ParozLv2

That was my impression of what happened, so I dropped the story, but in comments to my review the author implied this mysteries other guy post memory loss was actually her brother and not an NTR. Read at your own risk

Pospp:Ntr?????
2yr
Sindura
SinduraLv14

May I ask what kind of memory loss that is? The story sounds nice but I don't like people getting their mind played with...it just triggers me...so I would like to know if that is the case before I get invested into the story...

Sabet_Saga:Hi Drew, thank you very much for the detail that you add. I took time to understand what you write here because I am not a native english 😭 hahaha so pardon me if I have mistake when I try to understand it🥲. I am a bit confused when you said that I added another dude in the middle of FL and ML. But actually that dude will not be ML’s rival to get his love interest back 🥲. When you read the conversation she made during her sudden lose memory, you will find this ”are you a friend of my brother?” In fact, I wrote it like this new dude was a rival to MC at the first time of his debut in the chapter. But actually I have explained who he was in the next next chapter. maybe my idea just not good enough at this chapter. Anyway thank you for your brief explanation. It means alot.[img=recommend]
2yr
2
Sabet_Saga
Sabet_SagaAuthor

you will see the answer later around 120 chapters. You don’t need to worry about this memory loss.

Sindura:May I ask what kind of memory loss that is? The story sounds nice but I don't like people getting their mind played with...it just triggers me...so I would like to know if that is the case before I get invested into the story...
2yr
BookWorm69
BookWorm69Lv10

still kind of dodging the question, is it NTR or not. Simple question? im not reason 120 chapters to find out.

Sabet_Saga: you will see the answer later around 120 chapters. You don’t need to worry about this memory loss.
2yr
2
Sabet_Saga
Sabet_SagaAuthor

Of course not sir.

BookWorm69:still kind of dodging the question, is it NTR or not. Simple question? im not reason 120 chapters to find out.
2yr
1
Other Reviews
Sabet_Saga
Sabet_SagaAuthor

Hi! I am the author of this novel. Firstly, I really want to scream because I am so excited to finally released this novel! Yeay! *Hand Clapping for myself*. My name is Sabet, I am a female author who loves to play online game (too much). So that will be the main reason why I want to write a Game Novel, and boom! here we got LAST SHELTER ONLINE. My nationality is Indonesia, but currently I am active as a college student in number one Engineering Campus in Thailand. Yes, I got scholarship! But sadly, I can not graduate on time due to COVID-19 pandemic. And the bad news is, my scholarship will be run out soon. So I need to work hard to pay my study and my life in abroad (I can feel the MC here). I wish that my novel can be loved and enjoyed by everyone, I wish that I can win this biggest competition of WSA 2022. In order to do that, your support is very important to me. Best Wishes, Sabet_Saga.

3yr

Avan
AvanLv14

One of the best game stories in webnovel that gives me the SAO vibe. It was beautifully written with several layers of mystery that made me keep guessing and ask for more. It's written by a talented young author who really did her best to write, find an editor, commission cover, etc. Let's support this author and hope for the best. Well Done Author

2yr
Raj_Shah_7152
Raj_Shah_7152Lv15

A fresh take on an overly explored VRMMO genre . Very little information about the world as of now , but I'm sure that it will be very interesting . ( Review at chapter 17 ) Positives : 1) Solid grammar 2) Interesting world premise 3) No dumb clichès Hopefully the author shifts gears and zooms into a super story 😄😄

2yr
Missrealitybites
MissrealitybitesLv14

I read the early chapters of this novel a month ago and immediately drawn in. The premise is very promising as it explores humans desire for a second chance after life for their loved ones and themselves. I am so happy Sabet has finally published the story here on Webnovel. I can't wait to keep reading more. Writing quality = 5 stars. For a newbie author, this is very impressive. Story development = 5 stars so far. I've read all available chapters and really like how it's progressing. We get information on the game slowly but in a good pace with enough mystery to keep us guessing. Good flow and pacing. Character design = 5 stars for now. Only saw a few characters so far but they are well thought lot and relatable. Updating stability = 5 stars. One chapter per day now, though I predict it's going to be more once the book is contracted. World background = solid five stars for the one I've seen so far. Can't wait to read more.

2yr
JayFireblood
JayFirebloodLv15

Of writing this I'm at chapter 110 so far I'm enjoying the series but there's a few problems with the book. For starters is it's hard to tell if they really playing a game, people don't say the right things and finally their isn't a base of the game to give us a idea what is and what isn't capable

2yr
RaizarP
RaizarPLv11

I like this fiction so far. It's solid. Character development is decent, story development is decent. I really think that this is a good foundation for continuing forward. Importantly, the main character stands out as vibrant and interesting. First, the narrative is ok. It follows a straight line of progress and in the first 10k written it did not deviate. Second, since it is a system-based world, expect the blue window and a lot of notification. I am looking forward to how the story pans out.

2yr
Ogi_Saga
Ogi_SagaLv11

WORTH TO ADD! I give five stars for this story because this story deserves it. At the beginning of the story, Hiro appears as an annoying little brother and I hate him but I also like him 😭 The author managed to make the characters very well that's why i like this story. I also really like the world background, reminds me of Sao, by Reki Kawahara. love it 100%

2yr
Chocolo
ChocoloLv3

This novel has a good plot development and every chara is pretty interesting. It is easy to read and catch up to, so refreshing; nice to fill the free time. But one thing that misses in this novel... why u didn't put a "comedy" tag, author? I laugh several times srsly hahaha LIBE IS SO CUTE AND HER ACTION TO HIRO KILLS ME 🤣🤣

2yr
Thesilverderp
ThesilverderpLv13

Is it harem or no? B--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

2yr
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