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I'm a Pastor, what the hell is an Acute Gastroenteritis Outbreak Spell?!

Author: Yiqian Qingdai
Games
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Synopsis

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn't help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire. Firstly, what in the world is the "Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis" spell? And don't even get me started on the "Osteoporosis" spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like "Blood Burn," "Gradual Freeze," and "Mental Chaos." Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities? Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn't help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield "Doomstorm" and "Ice Age," swordsmen boast "Sword Rain: Homecoming" and "Wind-Cutter Slash," while archers showcase "Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars" and "Storm Arrow." Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named "Cancer Cell Proliferation," "T-Virus Infection," and "Rabies Outbreak." In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, "Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!" Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, "Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don't know!" Even a boss character confesses, "Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!"

Chapter 1Chapter 1: Professional Awakening? Nine-Star Career!

"In 2356 AD, the first spatial rift appeared in the Arctic ice plain. There, frost giants controlled the snowstorms that fell from the sky, freezing thousands of miles around."

"In merely three months, seven nations in the Northern Region froze into icy realms, resulting in countless human deaths…"

"In the second half of 2356 AD, the second spatial rift appeared in the Australian ocean. Countless savage Fishmen, accompanied by myriad sea beasts, stirred up colossal waves."

"Within a short month, over a million humans drowned under the devastating tsunami…"

"In 2357 AD, the first otherworldly fragment struck the Blue Star and merged with it."

"The Different Race, the Spirit Demon Clan from within the shard invaded the Blue Star, initiated a massacre of humans, and exploited human flesh and blood to conduct sacrificial rituals. They sent out universal coordinates in the starry sea, guiding their subsequent clan members to set foot on the Blue Star!"

"In the same year, the Eagle Nation launched thirteen nuclear missiles, annihilating the majority of the Spirit Demon Clan…"

"In 2358 AD, seventeen consecutive spatial rifts and seven otherworldly fragments merged with the Blue Star. Global scientists subsequently discovered that nuclear weapon explosions expedite the spread of spatial rifts, prompting the fusion of otherworld realms and the Blue Star."

"Since then, major countries jointly issued a declaration: Nuclear weapons are prohibited unless in extreme circumstances."

"In the same year, countless monsters and Different Races attacked the human world, leading to the apocalypse for mankind!"

"Foreign scientists found that due to spatial rifts and otherworldly fragments merging with the Blue Star, the volume of the Blue Star expanded by 2.5 times…"

"In 2360 AD, the first awakening crystal was discovered by humans, leading to the birth of the first nine-star awakenee, the 'Beast Spirit Master,' who spearheaded the humans' resistance against the Different Races…"

Zheng Cheng closed the book and shut his eyes, his mind roiling with thoughts.

A year before, he had crossed over from Earth to this parallel world.

Initially, he thought it was just a regular parallel universe. But as he delved deeper into his studies, he realized the complexity of this world.

Revival of spiritual energy, invasion by countless races.

In the wilderness, numerous monsters, and beasts dwelled, competing with humans for survival territories and resources.

In more distant places were the Alien Battlefields where they coveted human extinction incessantly.

Countless valiant human youth, soldiers, and powerful Professionists were stationed in the Alien Battlefields, resisting the invasion of the Different Races.

"Hey! Brother Cheng, we are going to undergo occupational awakening soon. What profession do you wish to awaken?"

His best friend Chen Xiao came over to ask, looking eager for gossip.

"Me?"

Zheng Cheng thought for a moment and said, "Obviously a Mage!"

"High attack power, cool skills, and during battles, warriors and knights will protect me from behind. How secure!"

"Damn! Brother Cheng, you think the same as me. I also want to awaken as a Mage. At that time, hehehe…"

His laughter was wicked, yet tinged with worry: "I heard that there's only a ten percent success rate for occupational awakening. What if I fail?"

"What's there to afraid of? Even if we are not Professionists, going to a regular university can also land us decent jobs!"

Zheng Cheng, who was nearly thirty years old in his previous life, had achieved nothing significant and didn't even have a girlfriend.

Add to that, his frequent late nights chatting with foreign teachers had significantly weakened his health.

After crossing over, not only did his body regain its health and youth, but he also had the opportunity to transcend the ordinary.

Even if his awakening failed, with merely his young and healthy body, he would be vastly fortunate.

Moreover, this world is vastly different from his previous one. He could rely on his prior life's experience and live comfortably.

At the very least, he could start by marrying a few wives.

Yes.

In this world, polygamy is the norm.

The reason? Simple.

Whether it's fighting monsters in the wild plains, dungeons, secret realms, or at the Two World Mountain, Chasm, Alien Battlefield, where humans face off against Different Races.

Apart from Professionists, a large number of ordinary people are needed for logistical work.

The mortality rate is extremely high, leading to staggering gender imbalance.

This ultimately led to the establishment of polygamous relationships.

But this system also has its limitations.

Professionists can marry multiple women with no upper limit.

Whereas ordinary people can only marry two.

This is why countless people are battling to become Professionists!"

"By the way, Brother Cheng, did you break the threshold of 1 in last week's Spiritual Threshold Test? As long as you break 1, you'll have a high probability of awakening as a Mage or similar profession!"

"I broke it."

Zheng Cheng replied casually. Perhaps due to transmigrating, his spiritual power was much stronger than before.

He reached 1.9 during last week's exam, astounding many people.

In this world, the criteria for possible occupational awakening are based on blood qi value and the spiritual threshold.

The higher the blood qi value prior to awakening, the higher the chances of awakening as close-combat professions.

The higher the spiritual threshold prior to awakening, the higher the chances of awakening as a magic or spiritual Professionist.

Thus, every year, the school reorganizes the classes according to the blood qi value and spiritual threshold of the students.

The higher the blood qi and spiritual threshold of a student, the further up the class register they are placed.

According to the national distribution of 'Newborn Professionist Awakening Standards,' people with blood qi or spiritual threshold value reaching 1 point have about a tenth of a chance of becoming a Professionist!

The lower the blood qi value and spiritual threshold, the less likely it is for an awakening to be successful!

For example, in class one, the blood qi value and spiritual threshold are at least 2 points or more!

And in their class four, the blood qi value and spiritual threshold are mostly hovering around 1 point.

Some even have only about 0.8.

In the entire school, they were at the bottom.

Indeed, this form of classification is not entirely accurate.

Every year, there are a few people whose spiritual threshold or vitality values are below 1 who manage to successfully awaken!

"Oh right, I remember it was 1.9. Those results could have gotten you into Class One. Your vitality value...as I recall was 0.9." Chen Xiao spoke in fragments. "What a shame the time was too short, otherwise, you would've been placed in Class One a long time ago."

"What about you?" Zheng Cheng retorted.

"Sigh, my vitality value is roughly the same as yours, and my spiritual threshold is only 0.8." Chen Xiao admitted grudgingly. "We're not like those rich people who can regularly consume spiritual medicine, bathe in medicinal baths and have professional martial arts teachers instructing them. Being able to train my vitality value to 0.9 is considered diligent."

Zheng Cheng advised, "Don't think too much, there are people every year whose vitality and spiritual threshold values are below 1 that successfully awaken!"

"Perhaps both of us will have the luck of the dog and successfully awaken!"

"Indeed!" Chen Xiao chuckled, "Brother Cheng, no matter who among us successfully awakens, let's promise not to forget about each other."

"Of course, if we achieve wealth and distinction, we must not..."

Just as he was speaking, a clamor suddenly erupted outside the door.

"Damn!"

"He successfully awakened!"

"It's someone from Class One! Class One!"

"What's going on? What happened?"

The Class Four students, all high in spirit, were startled awake by the clamor outside and all rushed toward the noise.

Zheng Cheng too, instinctively stuck his head out to see.

"What's happening~"

"What happened to Class One?"

"Damn! So many people..."

"Class One! Someone in Class One awakened a nine-star profession!"

"Whoa..."

At that moment, the entire classroom boiled over with excitement!

A nine-star profession!

That's the highest rank of profession in more than three hundred years!

If one could grow, they would certainly become a pillar of the nation, a pillar that supports the heavens!

In this world, the classification of professions is roughly divided into three categories.

The first is battle-related professions, which possess various combat abilities, such as warriors, mages, archers, and assassins, and so on.

The second category consists of supportive professions, which can aid in battles, such as priests, formation masters, illusionists, apothecaries, and many more.

The third category includes life-related professions.

As the name suggests, these are professions that have no combat capabilities.

Enchanters, cooks, pharmacists, alchemists, and so on.

Then the ranking of the profession is divided into nine tiers.

From one-star to nine-star!

The one-star is the weakest, while the nine-star is the strongest!

The reason is pretty straightforward.

A one-star professionist, after leveling up, can only gain 1 free attribute point.

But a nine-star professionist, after leveling up, can gain an astonishing 9 free attribute points!

That's where the horror of nine-star professionists lies!

The awakening of a nine-star professionist in Class One had already awakened the whole school.

Even the school leaders were all hurrying over to Class One.

At this time, Class Adviser Gao Yang opened the classroom door; he was holding a crystal that shone like a star, he spoke with a hint of jealousy,

"Students, sit down quickly, it will be our turn soon."

"When the time comes, you must do as I say, who knows, maybe one of you could also awaken a nine-star profession!"

But at this moment, he no longer had control over the students.

Inside the classroom was a frenzy of chatter, and the window was filled with heads.

"Damn! A nine-star professionist!"

"I just don't know what the profession is, is it recorded in the 'Encyclopedia of Professions'?"

"If only I could awaken a nine-star profession..."

"Dammit, don't know who it is, Class One is all full of monsters with vitality and spiritual thresholds above 2!"

"Dragon Knight, Necromancer, Shushan Swordsman, Unparalleled Warrior. Which nine-star profession did they awaken?"

"The Awakening Crystal has reached Class Two!"

"Will Class Two have a nine-star professionist awakening?"

"Impossible! For our school to have even one awakening would mean our ancestors' tombs are emitting green smoke..."

"News update! Leifan from Class Two has awakened as a seven-star professionist, a Magic Swordsman!"

"Magic Swordsman! Magic and martial arts dual training! Damn, I'm so envious!"

"Hey hey hey! Stop yelling, the Awakening Stone has arrived in our class. I want to awaken a profession too!"

"Teacher Gao! What's the situation with that nine-star professionist in Class One?"

Teacher Gao Yang chuckled but shook his head, "The principal has sealed the news. All we know is that it's a girl."

"Wow! A girl..."

Quite a few students exclaimed in surprise, "Who could it be? A support profession, or a mage?"

"Alright students!" Gao Yang began, "The Awakening Crystal has arrived, and I will now call upon students according to the roster..."

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