The start is good but, the emotional aspect feels flat.
Conveying the emotions at the start of novel can be a bit tough but, it's a bit more flat.
The story is good but the time gapes aren't separated properly.
When the girl is killed at the start, I can't connect to them.
You can use some more spacing in paragraphs.
Ultimately... it's good.
The syatem is elaborate and very interesting.
A good read for now.