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DraqynLv152yr
2022-09-16 17:04

great story and would love to read more but the the use full paragraphs to say repeatedly say one thing is beyond annoying not to mention the lack of specific with guns. sniper is mentioned multiple times but what kind? auto? bolt? 50cal? overall its fine when free but doesnt get better for paid chapters.

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XerstorenLv13

I'm writing this review after reading chapter 24, I believe is a chapter that would make various readers drop the novel so this review might help you all to understand why would someone would drop it. Let's go with the facts and then I would give the author a proper critic; -MC: It's has been told to the readers he was a member of Special Ops, if any of you were members of the military or are active members, then you'll find along the story this statement can't be possible. Not only the main character makes poor choices, but his actions in a alien environment without any back up and a system that he doesn't know how it works(nor the author bother explaining and detailing), puts himself in various scenarios a situation that even I, a former corporal of the army, wouldn't make in his situation. Personally I believe that the job of an author is to make a research beforehand in the subject that his work might go around, to prevent this kind of things happening, more so when the author himself is gaining money out of it. It's our job to ensure that we are writing something that does make sense within the boundaries that we stablish. Yet this novel lacks of the aforementioned. -System: The system in this novel doesn't only is almost irrelevant, but counterproductive to the novel itself. You see, it works as the mainly provider for the MC to get his hand at some arsenal, however, I don't know what the author was thinking since the way the system has been presented to the readers is awful. There's no explanation of how it works, details of the weapons and how the character might be able to get them, nor anything. What's worse, the main character itself doesn't bother(or hasn't been show and explain to the reader) to gain knowledge of it and how to use it on his favor, worse yet, it is conveniently overlooked for the author's own choice to be that way, since he could ensure his personal view on how the story should unfold. With these two I believe is enough for any reader to put off from keeping reading this work. Now for the author, the problem with your story is that for the reader, is clear how you wanted to reach certain points of the story, overlooking not only your characters, but world building at that. The flow of the story feels weird and hollow, at every moment I was reading the chapters I felt there was so much for the main character to do and think about before doing what was explain in the story, that I found myself unable to invest in the story completely. The actions and choices made from the MC doesn't make sense from a point of view of someone on his position. Nor does the choices you make willingly as an author for the direction of the story itself. I don't know if the novel improve in later chapters, since I thought it was necessary to make this review based on the first 24 chapters. I don't know what else to say at the moment so I'll leave at that.

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