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Hakushin
HakushinLv12yr
2022-08-24 07:01

A promising read, hopefully it keeps up the momentum established! The setting is definitely something I like and I hope you'll continue pumping out chapters!

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Other Reviews
Ash_Monarch
Ash_MonarchLv14

First off let me start off by saying something about the writing quality. I think the writing quality has improved significantly as you read more of the book, although there are a few grammatical errors it's nothing that would put you off reading. Now I'm gonna list some pros and cons of the novel. Pro's - 1. The plot flows smoothly and is intriguing making the reader want to know more which is a good thing 2. The characters are designed well and are portrayed in a way which brings to light each of their different personalities. 3. The uniqueness of the mc Zelta, although I'm a Male I was still able to relate to her and sympathise with her as she endures her tough plight. Con's- 1. For one of the characters Zain, I was left confused on whether she was a Male or female until I read the fifth chapter, so I suggest you maybe add something showing that she is a female so readers don't get confused. 2. The length of your paragraphs are too long. Since I read on the app, the paragraphs are like half a page long which is a chore to read, instead breaking them into smaller paragraphs of between four and five lines will help tremendously. 3. This is not a con, but a suggestion. If u don't already have grammarly, the download it as will help you in editing and correcting some of the incorrect spacing in the first few chapters. Overall, this novel has potential, if the author polished a few things then it will become into a really good book. Anyways, good luck author, keep writing and continue the good work!

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