The writing in this fanfiction is generally satisfactory, but there's room for improvement in terms of paragraph structure. The text often presents as a daunting 'wall of text', which can be quite exhausting to read. Utilizing new lines more frequently to break up the text would greatly enhance readability. Regarding the integration of the main character into the existing canon, I feel there's a missed opportunity. The character doesn't seem to add significant value to the narrative. In adaptations like this, it's often said that it's better to "show, not tell," but in this case, when the storyline closely follows the original canon, a concise summary might be more effective. Additionally, the concept of a 'cat demon' doesn't quite blend seamlessly with the established elements of the story. It feels reminiscent of a typical Naruto plot device, lacking originality. I also have reservations about the age of the main character. While I understand that they are a reincarnated individual, a time skip in the story might be more appropriate, especially when considering romantic developments with significantly older characters. Speaking of romance, it currently feels a bit rushed. Allowing the romantic aspects to develop more slowly and organically could benefit the overall narrative. On a positive note, I really appreciate how the main character expresses himself. His unique voice and perspective are engaging and add a distinct flavor to the story. This aspect is one of the highlights and contributes positively to the fanfiction.
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