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Gabriel_Menard
Gabriel_MenardLv12yr
2022-01-14 22:17

C'est un bon début, j'aime bien la personnalité de MC, magie de flamme simple mais avec des possibilités infinis. J'espère juste que MC ne sera pas surpuissant dès le début de la trame principale. Je recommande cette fanfiction merci !

Liked by 25 people

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Replies5
Internal_peace
Internal_peaceLv12

Si

Ahfza6677
Ahfza6677Lv10

[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]

Gilgamesh_The_K1ng
Gilgamesh_The_K1ngLv4

Sir that is french

Internal_peace:Si
AstralNinja420
AstralNinja420Lv14

Speak English not all of that speak are dumb enough to attempt the nastiest language ever created so no one cares

Iamsupervegito
IamsupervegitoLv4

he said its a fantastic beginning for a story and he likes the personality of the mc, And he recommends everyone to read this fanfic

AstralNinja420:Speak English not all of that speak are dumb enough to attempt the nastiest language ever created so no one cares
Other Reviews
Ghost_Playing
Ghost_PlayingLv14

✨💫Review after 11 chapters 💫✨ Writing Quality (⭐3,5): The Writing Quality is good but sometimes gets bad so you should also be careful when you always make so many spaces between words like: "Hello my name is Ghost and I’m doing a review . And the Author makes too many spaces . " Y'know what I mean? Updating Stability (⭐5,0): It’s been having regular updates so far and there isn’t really anything to complain about other than wishing you to keep up the good work you’ve made contentiously!! (unless you’re sick) Story Development (⭐5,0): I have been pretty satisfied in the direction the story is currently going to and I can only advise you to make the possible love interest appear later and focus more on building the foundations for your story, instead of pushing some forced relationship. So currently, just focus on the mc and you’ll be fine as long as you don’t forget to make the side-characters enjoyable too (pls don’t add annoying ones, nobody likes them lol). Character Design (⭐5,0): I loved how you made the characters intelligent without being brainless idiots so just continue how you’ve been doing it 👍 World Background (⭐3,5): There honestly could have been more interaction with other characters so you made too many time skips for convenience to skip his training part at the start but could have shown us better how Asta, Yuno and his father interact with him so you should be careful with making too many time skips or you might end your story without even noticing that it ended too fast. (But I do understand that you want to progress in your story so this is just a reminder not to rush too much and rather go the steady path, would be cool if he somehow learned ki without Yamis help though)<—I don’t know where he will join but it’s always cool to see an mc learning something without someone else help Summary (⭐4,2): BUT this is just my opinion and part-advice so write your story how you see fit but make sure to slow down the time skips once he gets accepted in those magic knight groups. Note: Would be cool if this review of mine was pinned since I never achieved that no matter what I wrote lol😅 Btw if I said anything wrong then correct me please since I don’t want to make my review affect new readers of your story in a bad way and since I usually don’t make reviews very often I still hope it was helpful so thanks for making this story, I’m looking forward to further chapters!! 😁 (Max=⭐5,0 Min=⭐1,0) Total: ⭐4,2

Ashir_Rehman
Ashir_RehmanLv1
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