webnovel
_asdfghjkl2021
_asdfghjkl2021Lv112yr
2022-06-25 18:36

Issues I found while reading: 1. Horrible grammar. 2. characters feel flat and 2 dimensional 3. dialogue does not flow well and feels stunted 4. The story feels rushed and not well thought of 5. The world, while using HP relies on unnecessary plot devices and armors.

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Other Reviews
FennrrirX
FennrrirXLv5

As someone that has read Millions of Words from hundreds of different works of Fanfiction for the Harry Potter series I would not recommend it to veterans, but for people who haven't spent hours combing through the best and the worst in tales that Fanfiction.net, Webnovel, and Qidian have to offer from the World of Wizards and Witches might like this one. It has the typical tropes of 'Having a Title Makes Harry OP' and 'Gringotts turns the MC in a Garry Stu' which are classics and not bad on their own, but the way it was implemented left much to be desired. There was no Build Up or sense of accomplishment in any of the scenes, they felt rushed and repetitive since there was not a single new thing added in to shift the readers expectations and the overuse of multiple 'OP Houses' feels unnecessary and excessive since either one of those alone could have done the same job as all of them together for the progression of the novel. The meeting Death scene left much to be desired as it was short, didn't add much to the story, and was underused even though it was Hyped at the Summary as the starting point of a divergence from the original. During the whole process, we learned that things are supposed to follow a script meaning that the actions of the MC aren't that important since he would be merely a puppet in the hands of the Author, maybe the intention was to have fixed points on fate and the way to reach them could be improvised (Which would be much better IMO) but I doubt it since it wasn't how it was explained. Death also felt a bit like either an idiot or a very naive entity as even after admitting that fate has somehow deviated from the original progression his solution is to mainly change as little as possible and hope things go back to normal and never get out of course again, maybe there is a reason like he could have handled the problem that caused the change in the first place but since we weren't told anything about it this feels more like an assumption. And finally not much changed from the event itself as Harry only learned the Truth about Sirius, which would have been revealed a year later so a change but not a big one, learned that he is the Heir of House Potter which didn't change much since it was only an excuse to get him in contact with the Goblins so he could get better stuff, and received a warning about Dumbledore, a very small one that at best should have made him suspicious and wouldn't have helped Cannon Harry at all since with his original personality it would have been hard for him to stand up for himself and with the little resources and power at his disposal would not have allowed him to fight an Evil Light Lord Dumbles. And lastly, the chapters are small for a Webnovel Fic and Super Small for a Harry Potter one. Maybe it is just me but it feels like there is not enough information contained in it and the development of the MC and the World is absent because the Author didn't have time or didn't wish to write longer chapters for this work. Finally, if you are not an avid reader of Harry Potter stuff in general don't mind my review too much and give it a try as you might actually enjoy the work very much and I am just more critical about it because after years of reading this kind of stuff it is harder to enjoy the small more unoriginal ones. And for the Author please do not get discouraged as anything written here by me was not done with the intent to bully you or disregard you or your work and the effort that you put into the story, I am merely giving a critique on the points I did not enjoy and trying to inform people about things that they might not like when browsing works to engage with. Do keep in mind that this Review was made when the story had very few chapters and things might have changed as the plot progressed and the Author got more comfortable with it. So thank you for reading this far and have a nice day.

1Dreamer_Owl
1Dreamer_OwlLv4
CodeSpectre
CodeSpectreLv4
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