Item: NOT HARRY POTTER AND THE SYSTEM
Rating: 3.4
Author: Devil023

Devil023Lv43yr

2022-01-20 00:19

This story is totally messed up. Reason- 1. How can he reach intermediate level in 1to7 year magic just by reading within 10 days when he also does so many work. even if he have boost he can only learn things twice fast as normal/other genius. 2. How can he learn so much when his aunt family never let him learn or go anywhere. 3. How can anyone let 11 year old go Knockturn alley alone without someone attempting kidnapping him. 4. Runes. Latin lang and other major subject required so many books how can he learn when he didnt have Fast or instant comprehension. and where he can find so many books easily. 5. How can someone let 11 year old boy purchase occlumency book. and there are many many more points. 6. Whole story looks like chunni. AUTHOR DROP IT AND REWRITE

NOT HARRY POTTER AND THE SYSTEM

some_writer

2.6

Liked by 9 people

Replies1

AncientRavioliLv3

Bro shut up. Fair enough to point out issues but why tf you saying ‘DROP IT AND REWRITE’ If the author enjoys the story they don’t need to change it. Just leave after your constructive criticism

2yr

Other Reviews

seli_1999Lv11

Hey author🙋‍♀️ur concept is gud and entertaining...hope it will be more fun in the future... suggestions: 1. please mention any author notes in any chapters using (A/N: blabla). 2. there are grammatical mistakes and spelling mistakes. hope u will clear em. 3. check format of chapters before their release since dialogues of diff people are stacked up in same paragraph. It looks cluttered. my review is just upto 4 chapters so don't be discouraged with less stars... anyways all the best there👍

3yr

DaoOfCopyingLv4

Who's The Fl? Is It Harem? [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]

3yr

t3j45Lv5

Good start... disappointing development👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎

3yr

Lx90Lv14

it seems like you took it from your original language then MTL it to english then re MTL to nonesense and the MTL it back to english. I am sorry you need to rewrite it i couldnt go on anymore. It seems like you are rushing the lvling because you gave yourself to little time to do it. check for spelling mistakes and check if the sentence makes sense. Cause some of the sentnces gave me cancer.

3yr

edward_rebolledoLv1

Reveal spoiler

12mth

Joseph_TreshockLv14

it's not terrible but altogether absolutely wretched

1yr

LastGodLv5

Wasted the first wish. Unfunny jokes like deadpool but deadpool's actually funny. So an unfunny deadpool. Then dropped the story. Really, if he kept it going Apollo would have dropped this anyways, it's really bad. It has promise if you got rid of the unfunny jokes took it seriously stopped making stupid decisions like having a character that is older than Harry loving his parents when he isn't really harry, and he knows he's not Harry. Even if you merged with Harry's memories, he should know that he's not harry. It's just annoying. That's the feeling I get for this story a lot. Is annoying that should not be the feeling you get from a story like this it should be fun, interesting.

1yr

AlchemistLv13

I'd would probably take me around 15 minutes to list everything that's wrong with this story, so I'll just say this: It reads like it was written by a pre-pubescent kid.

1yr

Jeet_ChattopadhyayLv4

Is this story ever gonna be updated ?????

2yr

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