Review Detail of MicahPhillipS1 in Arcane: Road To Perfection
Review detail
I read up to the point where I feel comfortable to say that this is both good and bad. You definitely changed the story but it took a turn in a way that simply made me want to throw my phone away. the development of Mylo honestly was the best change you made. The Loose Screws was a reach, Silco using the weapon built by Jinx, how does he know how to use it safely. Killing Vi, while would have been interesting for character development, you already did it with Mylo and doing it again was a mistake as you were clearly trying to redeem Jinx. It's simply another path that leads to descent into madness for Jinx but also for Silver as well. Also what happened to Lucy and Ekko, there seems to be a serious issue with Continuity in this that is very frustrating. Also the jumping back and forth between locations and dialogues without clear breaks makes it confusing to read because I expect things to continue but it doesn't. Silver and Lucy's roles in this? besides Silver's obvious anchoring role, wtf is Lucy's role? The voice of reason that is ignored? I would say that this is a solid fanfiction to definitely get frustrated with, but keep it up, hopefully your story improves.
Arcane: Road To Perfection
Tokyooo
Liked it!
LIKEReplies1
I haven’t even thought about the story in awhile to be honest with you. This is one of my first stories that I’v ever written so I do expect there to be some serious issues with it. I can say, as for Lucy, her importance becomes a lot more prominent as the story continues(whenever I feel like continuing it😂). As you know she’ a mage and everything but yeah. The loose screws was an attempt to show how much negativity Jinx/Powder was surrounded by all these years just to make it a little bit different than the story. With killing Mylo again, I tried to give Silver mainly a difference perspective. As in he believe he’s the reason Mylo was killed when they were kids(which he wasn’t) then when given the chance to start over with the people he loves, Mylo ends up dying again. I tried to add pain to the character but a different type of pain each time. Going from “oh my god I got my friend killed” to “oh my god, I did it for real this time and I really haven’t grown at all” which I think can add development in some way. I’ll be honest, I sometimes have a hard time keeping track of all of the characters which is why Lucy and Ekko are out for some of the time but that’ just on me. I appreciate the feedback, normally it’ just people bashing it without actually supplying constructive criticism in a somewhat positive light.