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Noobamstard
NoobamstardLv133yr
2022-02-10 22:40

soooooooooo it is good but the MC is more or less emotionally disconnected. Not my cup of tea but keep up the good work author.👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

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Ashtar29
Ashtar29Author

He is? I tried to make him more emotionally connected to people. I guess that's something I'll have to work on then.

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DaoistzuVmua
DaoistzuVmuaLv1

to be honest this is an incredible fanfic rather slow but it is not unpleasant, I like that you help harry so that he is not manipulated by the old goat, and the mc does not go with harry just because, as they do in other fanfics, the mc has his own thoughts and helps harry because he met him at school and because he can, other fanfics the mc helps harry just because he is harry and they form the golden cartouche (golden triangle) that does not make sense, for example: if you have the opportunity from going to a world of magic you will want to make your own story learn MAGIC, not getting into the lives of others just because it is harry; You do not help the homeless even knowing that they do not have a roof or food, you help only if you can, this type of thinking is wrong, I do not lose it, but this is how the real world works, you do not see a particular person helping but NGO organizations or programs of carida. In a few words I know that this does not really go with the plot since Harry always has to be included or at least related to the plot, but if I could go to the world of Harry Potter, I would learn magic of all kinds: rituals , curses, animagus, charms, transfiguration, others and I was not aware of harry because I would be doing my thing, and it would only help if I could, since harry is from the beginning being manipulated by the old goat they do not believe me the weasleys are pure blood they can travel to the train station with flu or apparition powders, they do it walk as if they were normal people and their first generation wizard or muggle born children. Regarding the story, it seems great to me, author please continue and do not suffocate, calm down, breathe and continue please.

Ashtar29
Ashtar29Author

Here's my honest review as the author of this fic. It is my first fic but that won't change how I judge this. I'll hold it to the standard I expect from things I would read. 1) My MC isn't emotionless or one a reader cannot sympathise with. I feel like if there is anything I've done right in the creation of this fic, it's my MC. He ended up being the same exact way I imagined him to be in my head. 2) The story itself. As it is right now, it's too early to judge. However, I can say I am doing my best to make this a story I would enjoy. I write this story while holding onto the multiple reviews I've read on my favourite fics and trying to write in a way that seems fun to reader and IS fun for me. 3) Power-ups. Ah~ the infamous killer of all fics. Writers getting too hyped and then overpowering their MCs is one of the main things that result in authors writing themselves into a corner. I want this fic to be decently long. Therefore, the major power-ups will be few and far between. 4) Whether or not it will follow the canon. This is what makes or breaks the fanbase of a fic. There are those who want a pragmatic MC who meticulously manipulates the canon from the shadows. I cannot do that for two reasons. One, I have no experience writing pragmatic and cold MCs. And two, my MC is my own self insert. The way he acts is more or less how I would act. Now that does come with its own ups and downs. It makes it easier to write in first person yet your own views and beliefs bleed into your character. E.g. my dislike and utter contempt for the Dursleys. All in all, I'd say give my fic a go. If you like it, you like it. And if you don't, then leave suggestions as to how I can improve in the chapter comments. That'll be all folks. Enjoy the fic! Yours Truly, —AshestoDust

ReflectedApple
ReflectedAppleLv3
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The_Grand_Warden · Book&Literature
4.1
283 Chs