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SOMMO_ARCANO
SOMMO_ARCANOLv22yr
2022-04-15 00:05

the story was starting well with mc manipulator, he takes rick's memories and goes into the multiverse and tries to get stronger even though ruthless he kills various people for his safety but then towards star wars he becomes handicapped and stupid he keeps making mistakes, the story it is prolonged and there are stupid moments in history such as it no longer kills people in difficulty but then kills at random, there are moments that particular technologies appear and it is not known where mc got the materials to build them or various things, from sending that mc try to get stronger has become a story where he tries to save everyone and make a big scene like a megalomaniac saying or look what they did what happened there etc ..., making fun of everything and everyone just to lengthen the chapters, mc really has some problem with children every second must be the means by lengthening the story or making scenes for no reason, the author from his initial premise was too influenced by the comments of the people and lost the original purpose of the story, good start but horrible development

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SOMMO_ARCANO
SOMMO_ARCANOLv2

I forgot to mention that when I started reading I thought that having infinite universes and dimensions mc would be better without too much concern for what it does so it doesn't matter if it kills a person or destroys a planet, mc is full of worry and uncertainty every time he tries to save someone, he also has an OP story armor which without that would be a lot in every battle (if not all), mc doesn't seem to have actual growth but the personality changes in jerks without giving us time to adjust or understand why it has changed , there are also moments in which the understood talks about some future moments or other if or things that happened and in various moments it is not clear what happens or why, therefore random plot armor, inconsistent mc, parts of the story skipped or poorly written

GoldFinger
GoldFingerAuthor

i see. and any suggestions? how do i improve that?

SOMMO_ARCANO
SOMMO_ARCANOLv2

mc at first was a manipulator with rick's memory he became more extreme and time wasters, after solving rick's problem he became too soft and easily manipulated especially by girls i understand you are trying to add more texture and that's okay but you are exaggerating all those he took with him were in a priscopathic and violent world as soon as they are with him they change 180 degrees I understand that the fragment of worm gave a more violent option but this too should make people get used to it and make them more violent-sadistic, some part like when does the moon-sized ship okay but why should he try to die against another being? mc is almost omnipotent and uses his strength only to brag, the reason why I started reading history was because I was looking for a mc who having the memories of rick did not fall into various mistakes and was freer with less worries, even the promise that he did not to kill if necessary he seems to torture us readers more, mc can change time, space and reality but he is committed to giving himself problems, I do not think that if you could teleport yourself to another planet you would use a burr and you would waste hundreds of years alone to get there, i understand the journey but no one would, mc doesn't seem to progress as a character but just has extreme character changes in each different world!

GoldFinger:i see. and any suggestions? how do i improve that?
SOMMO_ARCANO
SOMMO_ARCANOLv2

I don't want to give you suggestions or tell you what to do but do your own thing and try to be consistent without relying too much on various comments especially because not everyone likes to comment and as soon as they see something wrong they leave or stop reading, try to publish more chapters and try to make them shorter so you can understand the chapter better and give a more focused opinion

GoldFinger:i see. and any suggestions? how do i improve that?
GoldFinger
GoldFingerAuthor

yeah. that serms to be a problem. i don't know how to solve it though. i can solve the power problem. starting next chapter mc will use a of his tech to the Full extent. but the character growth problem i don't know how to solve.

SOMMO_ARCANO:mc at first was a manipulator with rick's memory he became more extreme and time wasters, after solving rick's problem he became too soft and easily manipulated especially by girls i understand you are trying to add more texture and that's okay but you are exaggerating all those he took with him were in a priscopathic and violent world as soon as they are with him they change 180 degrees I understand that the fragment of worm gave a more violent option but this too should make people get used to it and make them more violent-sadistic, some part like when does the moon-sized ship okay but why should he try to die against another being? mc is almost omnipotent and uses his strength only to brag, the reason why I started reading history was because I was looking for a mc who having the memories of rick did not fall into various mistakes and was freer with less worries, even the promise that he did not to kill if necessary he seems to torture us readers more, mc can change time, space and reality but he is committed to giving himself problems, I do not think that if you could teleport yourself to another planet you would use a burr and you would waste hundreds of years alone to get there, i understand the journey but no one would, mc doesn't seem to progress as a character but just has extreme character changes in each different world!
GoldFinger
GoldFingerAuthor

thank you.

SOMMO_ARCANO:I don't want to give you suggestions or tell you what to do but do your own thing and try to be consistent without relying too much on various comments especially because not everyone likes to comment and as soon as they see something wrong they leave or stop reading, try to publish more chapters and try to make them shorter so you can understand the chapter better and give a more focused opinion
SOMMO_ARCANO
SOMMO_ARCANOLv2

make like that by erasing rick and erased various things about himself or rick left a backdoor to be right and leave his psyche partially damaged, with the soul gem and its technology he can repair-heal his psyche , becoming complete again he starts to be partly indifferent and tries to make him as a researcher (lover of science) and finds various ways, explores various worlds to quench his thirst and with his thirst for knowledge and experimenting various things he takes a quest more serious towards power and freer from worries when experimenting with various worlds, try to lead mc how to take small steps without doing something too extreme try to keep balance and less plot armor, risks must be controlled and cannot always be stupid and do not think, behind the first floor there is the second and the third and so on of course he should not be prepared for everything but he must also have his problems

GoldFinger:yeah. that serms to be a problem. i don't know how to solve it though. i can solve the power problem. starting next chapter mc will use a of his tech to the Full extent. but the character growth problem i don't know how to solve.
SOMMO_ARCANO
SOMMO_ARCANOLv2

this is just an idea it's up to you how to develop it or how to go, don't take a cue from me what you have to do is write your story not the story you change by pleasing and following the comments of others

SOMMO_ARCANO:make like that by erasing rick and erased various things about himself or rick left a backdoor to be right and leave his psyche partially damaged, with the soul gem and its technology he can repair-heal his psyche , becoming complete again he starts to be partly indifferent and tries to make him as a researcher (lover of science) and finds various ways, explores various worlds to quench his thirst and with his thirst for knowledge and experimenting various things he takes a quest more serious towards power and freer from worries when experimenting with various worlds, try to lead mc how to take small steps without doing something too extreme try to keep balance and less plot armor, risks must be controlled and cannot always be stupid and do not think, behind the first floor there is the second and the third and so on of course he should not be prepared for everything but he must also have his problems
Leylin_123
Leylin_123Lv14

Mejoro?

SOMMO_ARCANO:this is just an idea it's up to you how to develop it or how to go, don't take a cue from me what you have to do is write your story not the story you change by pleasing and following the comments of others
dylan_pyle
dylan_pyleLv14

read revered insanity this work is already ruined,but future work needs not be as long as you show the capacity to think and understand

GoldFinger:yeah. that serms to be a problem. i don't know how to solve it though. i can solve the power problem. starting next chapter mc will use a of his tech to the Full extent. but the character growth problem i don't know how to solve.
DaoistjQtMkq
DaoistjQtMkqLv3

Will he stop caring for his lovers and children?

GoldFinger:i see. and any suggestions? how do i improve that?
GoldFinger
GoldFingerAuthor

NO. HE WILL STILL LOVE AND CARE FOR THEM JUST AS MUCH

DaoistjQtMkq:Will he stop caring for his lovers and children?
DaoistjQtMkq
DaoistjQtMkqLv3

Can you change his personality to not caring for them?

GoldFinger:NO. HE WILL STILL LOVE AND CARE FOR THEM JUST AS MUCH
GoldFinger
GoldFingerAuthor

Why? also, no. fics over, been over for like 2 yrs. cant change a completed fic. you can always try the sequel to this fic. his son isnt quite as mushy but he's also more ruthless and brash.

DaoistjQtMkq:Can you change his personality to not caring for them?
DaoistjQtMkq
DaoistjQtMkqLv3

Oh

GoldFinger:Why? also, no. fics over, been over for like 2 yrs. cant change a completed fic. you can always try the sequel to this fic. his son isnt quite as mushy but he's also more ruthless and brash.
Man_of_culture_69
Man_of_culture_69Lv2

Author you can write another fic based on this with improved version? And mistakes if you have time

GoldFinger:Why? also, no. fics over, been over for like 2 yrs. cant change a completed fic. you can always try the sequel to this fic. his son isnt quite as mushy but he's also more ruthless and brash.
GoldFinger
GoldFingerAuthor

i have plans for a sequel to this fic which will star this guy's son as the mc. basically this fic but with a better harem and a more fun and reckless mc.

Man_of_culture_69:Author you can write another fic based on this with improved version? And mistakes if you have time
Man_of_culture_69
Man_of_culture_69Lv2

Or how about a gray mc reincarnated in1900 in Marvel without golden finger and get stronger through experiment and serums from super soldier to sentry and other ways to power ups till he become a cosmic being strong enough to oppose lady death etc 💀

GoldFinger:i have plans for a sequel to this fic which will star this guy's son as the mc. basically this fic but with a better harem and a more fun and reckless mc.
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