Review Detail of Madison_Anderson_7528 in [Marvel:Naruto Template System]
Review detail
Um your character choices are confusing. Ill admit I only got up to ch.2, and ill might contiue it later, but there are some problems. 1. You said that he killed,tortured, and mutilated people. You need a special type of mindset to ALL three those things. So all these things don't correlate to being a hero. 2. With him having his mindset, he has a certain Level of maturity. Because killing is one thing, but torture and mutilate is certainly a level above. So Why is it that when he sees his mom he immediately has a breakdown to her possibly dying. 3. With the same topic as last time, when he has his meltdown, why does he say" I just met my new family". He never stated he had a bad life. Before you mention the debt his father left him, he stated that the reason he did the things he did don't matter. He showed no guilt for what he did and made no excuses. But no, he just didn't care and not only did he not care, he chose this decision with his "genius" Level intellect. 4. And I wasnt gonna say it, but why did he have to be a hero to get the Naruto System. It would have made since to get a hero based system, but you chose the people who send children to war as the bar.
[Marvel:Naruto Template System]
AceTheHonoredOne
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Hmm yeah you have some good points, I could've described his backstory a little better but I already said, he couldn't get out of that life because of the debt his father left him. You can't really start a company or anything like that, without having atleast a little money, which he didn't have because of the debt. What I also hinted at, was that the debt collectors forced him to work for the mafia, to pay his debt. I see my mistake, that I didn't explain it good enough, so yeah that was a little bad written.
Madison_Anderson_7528:1. Thats a bit of a stretch. Just being a hero doesn't make what hid did atonement. Thats Like saying "yea he he did all that, but hes a hero now so its okay". Or im not sure if you watched MHA, but that like saying, "yeah Endeavor beat his kids, but hes a hero so its okay". 2. On this one you contradicted yourself. you said he didnt know the enemy gang, so the emotions wouldn't have been there. But he was literally just born. He doesn't even know her. It be a bit different if you had put him in a body a bit older with the memories of the family. 3. If you wanna show his backstory in parts, that's cool have at it. But its different when you saying he was feeling guilt. Even saying he wants to atone for his sins, it doesnt match the info we were given. If you had given more info on how bad his life was then maybe it'll be believable, but all you said is that he was left with his father debt. If you had left it like that, we could have thought that he had no other choice and didnt know what to do. However with the intelligence and him saying that he could be rich and successful and all this other stuff, you made it seem like he chose this.
1. Yes he has indeed done all those bad things, that is also the reason why he chose to become a hero to "atone for his sins" 2. It is a very diffrent matter if you kill or torture people from an enemy gang that you don't know the slightest bit and seeing your mother die. 3. So first of he didn't mention his bad past life because I want to talk about his past life with more hints and mentionings instead of just recounting his whole backstory at once. Also he did show some guilt that's why he chose to become a hero to deal with his guilt and like he said "atone for his sins" 4. That is going to be awnsered in wayyy later chapters so just hang in there if you want to know.
1. Thats a bit of a stretch. Just being a hero doesn't make what hid did atonement. Thats Like saying "yea he he did all that, but hes a hero now so its okay". Or im not sure if you watched MHA, but that like saying, "yeah Endeavor beat his kids, but hes a hero so its okay". 2. On this one you contradicted yourself. you said he didnt know the enemy gang, so the emotions wouldn't have been there. But he was literally just born. He doesn't even know her. It be a bit different if you had put him in a body a bit older with the memories of the family. 3. If you wanna show his backstory in parts, that's cool have at it. But its different when you saying he was feeling guilt. Even saying he wants to atone for his sins, it doesnt match the info we were given. If you had given more info on how bad his life was then maybe it'll be believable, but all you said is that he was left with his father debt. If you had left it like that, we could have thought that he had no other choice and didnt know what to do. However with the intelligence and him saying that he could be rich and successful and all this other stuff, you made it seem like he chose this.
AceTheHonoredOne:1. Yes he has indeed done all those bad things, that is also the reason why he chose to become a hero to "atone for his sins" 2. It is a very diffrent matter if you kill or torture people from an enemy gang that you don't know the slightest bit and seeing your mother die. 3. So first of he didn't mention his bad past life because I want to talk about his past life with more hints and mentionings instead of just recounting his whole backstory at once. Also he did show some guilt that's why he chose to become a hero to deal with his guilt and like he said "atone for his sins" 4. That is going to be awnsered in wayyy later chapters so just hang in there if you want to know.