webnovel
LunariaN
LunariaNLv53yr
2021-11-09 08:24

- Generally the story is good, but MC feel a bit perfect (Mary Stu), master chief + got a good physique + good with weapons + intelligent + never got in problems + doesn't actually show any teenager like reactions considering that most of his friends are females 'no reaction what so ever just poor attempt to describe it' ; also his interaction with group member is too little, especially Rikka & Satanachia cuz he's either with Tama & Pochi or alone. - never saw all of them team up together, or having Shun tag along with them, its like he's avoiding everyone from his sisters & chag group members. - this affected my rating a lot, but I couldn't bear to give you any less, group chat members are meant to interact with. not to be avoided, otherwise why forming such group?

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Replies3
JadePanda003
JadePanda003Author

Yeah I noticed that too. However, I do have to point out that he isn't anything like a master chef as he just cooked everyday food. He isn't going into trouble because he is avoiding them. Now, onto the no reaction part, I think I've shown a few times that he is showing some reactions even if it's in a kind of light qbd joking tone most of the times like when Mutsuko stretched her body in front of him during their NWO quest. I think that's the problem with First Person's POV as everything is being shown in the MC's perspective.

JadePanda003
JadePanda003Author

He's also a previous assassin so what do you expect from him? Have phenomenal interpersonal skills or something? He'll develop as time goes by. Well, that's atleast what's happening during the time I'm writing this reply anyway(I'm talking about the current chapter I'm writing). Thanks for the honest review and more power to you going forward! Cheers!

Leylin_123
Leylin_123Lv14

y con el paso, profundizar en el romance.

JadePanda003:He's also a previous assassin so what do you expect from him? Have phenomenal interpersonal skills or something? He'll develop as time goes by. Well, that's atleast what's happening during the time I'm writing this reply anyway(I'm talking about the current chapter I'm writing). Thanks for the honest review and more power to you going forward! Cheers!
Other Reviews
JadePanda003
JadePanda003Author

To celebrate getting 1k collections, I'm here to give myself another review. It's more like a self-reflection of sorts. Writing Quality- Now, looking back, I definitely could have done better in some cases like how the conversations inside the group chat progressed. Some chapters like that made me felt satisfied by what I wrote while reading while others made me frown in annoyance. My grammar should at least be readable while but it's a far cry from those excellently written novels. Story Development- The story is still in its beginning stages so nothing really exciting or dramatic happened. The story's pacing is quite good in my opinion, with no major time skips except for when I skipped the childhood phase. The story's now its first Dimension Travel so there's that as well. Character Design- Nothing could be said here, I think. I took characters from different novels and tried to emulate their unique personalities as much as I can. Updating Stability- It's being updated everyday for almost a month now so it's a five star! Haha. World Background- In terms of this one, I think I never really delved too deep into it as I felt that there wasn't really a need to. It's a much more advanced Earth than ours, what more should I say? However, I might further elaborate when it comes to some cases like in another world. All in all, I'm pretty satisfied with how this story is shaping out to be. No stressful events, not much in terms of drama, just a fluffy Slice of Life story that is paired with Game Elements and Dimensional Travelling experience. To those who wants to read this thinking that there will be serious developments, I'd suggest that you should turn around and look for something else. I didn't start this book to stress myself and the readers by making us all go through a roller coaster of emotions. I made this because I want to relax and take my mind away from the stress of work, even for a moment.

Orange_Car_Slave
Orange_Car_SlaveLv13
SR_2027
SR_2027Lv5

Writing another review cause now it has enough chapters to know how many stars should be given. ************ Writing quality: Perfect. No major grammar or spelling mistakes. Story development: Story starts up good. You gets to know his background and his past easily and along with summary of what had happened. But the chat group appears too suddenly but it can be say that it appears at the start of the canon(probably). Then the further chapters are developed pretty good. The author had added some AU but it's ok, it doesn't affect the character behaviour... *Sign* it's pretty hard to give review without spoilers... Character designs: Character designs is simple and on to the point. The author is able to potrait the characters according to their original behaviour, which is pretty hard even to professional authors... Updating stability: Best. You gets chapters daily, which is best. Author you have my respect to write the chapters so fast and accurate. World background: Here's the problem. The author had took a great risk and even won the prize. Background is based on a novel which might not be read by most of the readers but this also creates suspence. Usually chat ff have characters from famous animes like dxd, Fate/, or Yosuga No Sora(used frequently). But author had took risk making the background completely of different novel that might not be read by many readers. This is pretty astonishing... ________________________ Now what are you waiting for? Go and read the ff immediately.

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GH0STS · Others
4.6
167 Chs