Alright, finally my review for this story. Though there are only a few chapters as for now, I'd write it a review nonetheless. There will be a mild-spoiler in here, kinda... so, for those who haven't read the story first, well, you've been warned. So, about my thought, let us start from the plot. I, to be honest, rarely read a romance story, so I couldn't really tell which one is good or bad, for I don't have any romantic experience both in real life nor in fiction. Anyway, the romance in this story, I found it wholesome and brought this strangely... warm feeling when Celeste (the Heroine/MC) and Bane (the Protagonist) in scene (that does break my lips into a goofy grin), chattering casually even though Celeste knows he's not a human, I always found that she also found a bit of comfort and doesn't mind it at all. I mean, she didn't tell a police about her encounter with "them" or about the murder, nor look for clue or something to explain Bane's "curse". Guess it'd be risky as well. Regardless, I love the idea of love at first sight (or in this case, love at first scent). Bane surely knows about how to find his soulmate just with a smell, wish I have one such. His cold, cruel part of being inhuman, it's still a suprise he's a generous one... that is, if one sided with his good side. Celeste... I like her. She, despite her "parents" threat her like something's else, she still respects them as the "whole" parents; they who have raised her to her 21st birthday. She's calm, and has less tendency to go into panic state, or simply irrational acts, counterbalancing Bane's inner beast... which I like the most. Then about the writing, is vividly telling the readers and sure giving a lot of explanation to understand the whole story of what happened. However to be honest, there are quite an amount of unnecessary part which unrelated to the story... at least at that point, like Celeste wants to buy a car, or knowing that her "parents" will have their own child. In my opinion, I think it's better to keep that kind of information for later chapters or keep it a mystery to make readers wondering a little longer... that's my opinion though, don't take it seriously, you Author have done a great job with the writing style. Pacing and update stability, is alright, even faster than my own... so, nothing to say about it. Grammar and punctuation. Well, I did sometimes found the mistyped words, like "her" the "r" is missing so I misinterpreted it as "he" till I reread it again, and etc. But nothing major really, since it won't affect the flow of the story that much. But I would suggest the author to give title for every chapter, so that readers could at least know what the chapter was about. I already peeked at your others stories, and I see that you do give title for every chapter... so why this story won't get any? 😅 about grammar, I dare not to talk about it. I am no native, nor I have enough knowledge to... at least this story is easy to follow and understand, enough for me. And that's... I think that's it. This became quite a long review. Never. expected it 😅 but I can tell that this story is worth the time, as I enjoyed reading it, and want more. Thank you for writing this story, Author :) However, The only downside of this story overall, is that we still haven't get much of Bene and Celeste's scene :( we need more of it, more of them, Author, give use sugar xD
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I must admit- I really do love reading such detailed feedback from readers. I find it beneficial on some many levels. Between knowing what readers like/dislike to areas I can improve or replot certain things. Such as you mention- revealing the reason why her adoptive family kicked her out, I can see your point where something like that could fit better later on as a sort of vulnerability or bonding moment between Bane and Celeste where she opens up to. Something I'll file away for the future. I'm glad that what I'm trying to do with the contrast in their relationship is noticeable to some degree. Keeping it constant can be a bit hard when I'm trying to work between harsh but not too harsh. As for what you mention in comments and the review about Bane being kind- as his human portrayl except for what he wanted to do with Celeste with the tip is calculated rather than coming from genuine kindness. He wants humans to believe he is such that there is no way he could be tied back go the mafia. More scenes between Bane and Celeste will coming up soon that much I can promise. For the grammar and such- don't be shy about pointing out mistakes or broken words, it helps me to pay better attention in the future. And chapter titles. Yes I did it with a number of my other books. But for this one I was experimenting with something different for the titles. Plus, I won't lie that it taxes my brain a lot at times to think of a chapter title. At end I I would like to say once again thank you for the lengthy and detailed review, it is greatly appreciated
Don't mention it~ ^^ It's my pleasure, After all I could also learn something new by reading books; a lot of new stories and yours as well. I thank you as well for giving me a chance to read your story and to write it a review wholeheartedly... experiencing new memories. As an author myself, sure writing itself isn't a simple act. Writing... is like painting but instead using paintbrush and color, we use words and phrases. You could say, us writers, are some kind of an artist, eh... ahaha~ 😅 To make it beautiful, or scary, or sad, or anger... spark something inside the heart of anyone who's reading it. It's like playing music but the opposite... Oh right, I'm sorry for mumbling nonsense... 😅 I was just thinking... the interaction between writer and writer, not bad at all, since they feel the same way; Writers who really are into writing and craft a story, and not something else. Just keep writing, I believe this story of yours, will be a good one. And I will look forward to it. Though you will might be find me kinda late to keep up with your story, as I have one to preserve. Nonetheless, when I have some free time, I'll gladly to read it more... please don't abandon your characters in this story, okay? Anyway, Thank you once again for crafting this story, Butterfly~ ^^
DameButterfly:I must admit- I really do love reading such detailed feedback from readers. I find it beneficial on some many levels. Between knowing what readers like/dislike to areas I can improve or replot certain things. Such as you mention- revealing the reason why her adoptive family kicked her out, I can see your point where something like that could fit better later on as a sort of vulnerability or bonding moment between Bane and Celeste where she opens up to. Something I'll file away for the future. I'm glad that what I'm trying to do with the contrast in their relationship is noticeable to some degree. Keeping it constant can be a bit hard when I'm trying to work between harsh but not too harsh. As for what you mention in comments and the review about Bane being kind- as his human portrayl except for what he wanted to do with Celeste with the tip is calculated rather than coming from genuine kindness. He wants humans to believe he is such that there is no way he could be tied back go the mafia. More scenes between Bane and Celeste will coming up soon that much I can promise. For the grammar and such- don't be shy about pointing out mistakes or broken words, it helps me to pay better attention in the future. And chapter titles. Yes I did it with a number of my other books. But for this one I was experimenting with something different for the titles. Plus, I won't lie that it taxes my brain a lot at times to think of a chapter title. At end I I would like to say once again thank you for the lengthy and detailed review, it is greatly appreciated
