well the story is good, but it seems a little cold, a bit like a narration a dissertation, it doesn't feel like something that is being experienced, it goes like it was just a thing, an outline, the idea of the story is good, but it is this, it gives the impression of a sketch and not of a story properly constructed with its details, it does not allow us to experience and understand the character, it does not seem as if it were him living something real in his life, it was a little weird.
PowerStorm
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