Review Detail of Rey_G in IDLE Database
Review detail
Not verisimile enough, the character jumps from being an angered idiot screaming and punching his computer to a scared retard when noticing someone got his address, then he jumps in personality again to an apathetic retard that's not anywhere near amazed that a multidimensional program gave him superpowers. Story is confusing, it is constantly in that "flux of consciousness" state, where descriptions aren't concrete enough: it just takes content from the narrative. It also seems the author got 99% of the story from "Shadow Hack," some other shitty novel in this website. It is exactly the same story, just with a few happenings reworded, and with the overall grammar worse. He repeats "IDLE Database" hundreds of times in the same sentence, along with other repeated descriptors; this shows he is not adept enough in storytelling and/or in english. The conclusion is: this is not worth the time.
IDLE Database
Dyrem
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For some further reading, refer to "Stream of Consciousness" or "Flux of Consciousness." It is an advanced narrative tool - to be handled with care. The most prominent styles involve dumping it in the middle of a scene - generally in stories told by omniscient narrators contamined with a character's viewpoint. Like the name implies, it is a fast, loosely structured and - oftentimes - explosive stream of thoughts from a character, presented by the narrator. You can see why this is bad for a story to be written solely in it, and with incomplete characteristics at that. Most novice authors do that without perceiving.