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The_Young_Flash
The_Young_FlashLv43yr
2021-08-31 15:36

The writing quality is not great but it is readable... The stability of updates is fine so I rated that pretty high... The Story Development is neither good nor bad to be honest... if you are someone looking for a wild time with wild theories and huge spirals of just random ideas, then the story development is for you... I rated the story development low because there is no reason or rhyme to his choices.... and even if there is, the mc doesn't explain it properly anyway... The Character Design leaves a lot wanting because the author leaves a lot of gaps for us to fill in... he doesn't tell us how Ward feels, he makes us figure it out and that makes no sense to me... As for the background... a badly described marvel background... when writing fanfics, I judge a background by what you add to it besides the cannon, and this adds nothing... I believe it takes away if anything. #JustBeingHonest

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Alcoholic_Panda
Alcoholic_PandaAuthor

being honest is good, first fic, expected this, will try to improve, this will probably be rewritten, kidna the plan from the start, write ,get experience, get better, rewrite, repeat until i am satisfied with the quality

Hahalool
HahaloolLv14

mr panda, you should avoid consuming alcohol when writing novels….

Alcoholic_Panda:being honest is good, first fic, expected this, will try to improve, this will probably be rewritten, kidna the plan from the start, write ,get experience, get better, rewrite, repeat until i am satisfied with the quality
Firebowle
FirebowleLv4

Well I prefer a movie or novel, where choices are described but not explained. Just show the reader the emotiona let them be part of the story and not seperate them by trying to explain the reasoning of the character. I don‘t know the novel, but felt disturbed by the tipps left behind for the author to stumble over. And a further tip, try to incorporate a hidden story, something that is there in one centence but is never explained, but adds depth to the world/characters and so on. Do your beat, author.

Other Reviews
Masterofall1
Masterofall1Lv14

The other elements of the story just bend to the main character's plans, there has been no real challenge for the main character no real challenge or no real conflict when everything is 'planned out' by the main character and goes exactly how the main character plans. Examples; 1. The ancient one, even if she couldn't see the main character's future, would still be wary of the main character for being a god's puppet, and she would at the very least demand that he does not harm the Earth, and even then it's a major stretch that she would teach him magic, she would most likely see him as a threat to the earth and eliminate him then and there, just for being connected to a 'patron god'. 2. The whole entire scenario with the black widow is just one whole pile of plot convenience BS, first off SHIELD didn't recruit black widow at all in fact they were hunting her and trying to kill her, and while yes it's entirely possible for SHIELD to try and brainwash her or use her trauma to manipulate her, it's harder because she can know the signs of brainwashing from the red room, and even then the delivery for such a plot development could have gone over a lot better if implemented at a slower pace, not just 'Oh, by the way, I noticed you're still brainwashed, yeah let me just get rid of that brainwashing and then add my own brainwashing to make you 'fall' for me. Now let's mention the main character design, honestly everything the main character does is defined as the typical manipulative, power-hungry fool, that everything just falls into his lap. Honestly, it's probably better if this was a cultivation novel at this point, it's that bad. At least with a cultivation novel, you can use the excuse of 'oh the heavens are smiling upon me' or 'I've been blessed by the heavens'.

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