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Jerry_Magnuson
Jerry_MagnusonLv143yr
2021-10-20 06:37

loving the story so far it's actually quite intriguing but if it was me I would have asked the dark God for a gift as well as the light. Already gave you one yeah the dark God gave Ruby Soul destroying eye but I would have made it so that he gave her a Grimm form because that is a beautiful concept and we barely find any stories with it but then again that's just my opinion but good job on the story I liked it

I'm ruby rose

Grim_Reaper_4508
4.2
83 Chs

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Other Reviews
Quetzalcotal
QuetzalcotalLv4

If you want an ALPHA FEMALE MC with Plot , this is the one .This Ruby is the best protag for me , she is a ruthless killer , tries to gain strength and be the top of the world and never hesitates to end the lives which is extremely rare . The best part is she never tried to be the hero , she has best goals in my opinion.

3yr

Deathdozer420
Deathdozer420Lv15

I love stories like this because there so rare and to find one that is so perfectly done makes me so happy that I found this story #Ruby rose X Neopolitan Because it's not used anuf and it's such a cute couple

3yr
Duncan_Quan
Duncan_QuanLv5

I love it, and I wish more writers would make stories like this more often, cause they are really good, I really enjoy the whole becoming a cannon character trope, and it’s done nice here.

3yr
MiracleFactory
MiracleFactoryLv3

YOU REALLY NEED TO WORK ON YOUR WRITING. TRY USING GRAMMARLSY OR THE LIKE. ALSO, REMEMBER TO CAP THE NAMES. AND IF YOU WANTED HER TO BE OVERPOWERED, JUST GIVE HER POWERS SIMPLY. DON'T ADD TWO BROTHERS OR WHATEVER, THAT JUST MADE IT FEEL CRINGEY. I MEAN IT WOULD BE GOOD IF YOU HAVE DONE THAT NICELY. BUT LIKE THIS, IT BECAME MARY SUE. TRUST ME, I KNOW. I HAVE BEEN WRITITING MARY SUES FOR A LONG.

3yr
Blueman97
Blueman97Lv15

The story is great so far to where I read it, but sometimes there are long paragraphs and it is hard to keep up reading a block of paragraphs like that with no commas, and there are some minors spelling errors. This is all I found up to chapter 2, I hope you improve your spelling and spacing.

3yr
Classified
ClassifiedLv5

Reveal spoiler

3yr
Soal_San
Soal_SanLv4

I read all of the 9 currently released chapters before making this review. I usually like RWBY fanfics but your main character and their goals feel wrong for me, but that's a matter of taste. The story itself has a good plotline with the only problems in writing being a number of reoccurring grammatical errors. Overall, a good story so far, but not for me. (°^°)7 Keep writing and you'll do well.

3yr
Venerable_Far
Venerable_FarLv11

horrible mc, bad personality, too much of a mary sue, also the grammar sucks .... ... .. . .. . . .. ... . . . . .. .. . . ............ ....

2yr
2blob2
2blob2Lv4

It's fine, somewhat, albeit with writing quality issues and cringe plot, it's still readable. Rose feels like an emo, smoking teenager more than anything else, not some alpha female like I've seen in other comments.

3yr
Destroyer3000
Destroyer3000Lv5

This has potential. hope you keep writing, I really like it. .

3yr
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