I love stories like this because there so rare and to find one that is so perfectly done makes me so happy that I found this story #Ruby rose X Neopolitan Because it's not used anuf and it's such a cute couple

I love it, and I wish more writers would make stories like this more often, cause they are really good, I really enjoy the whole becoming a cannon character trope, and it’s done nice here.

YOU REALLY NEED TO WORK ON YOUR WRITING. TRY USING GRAMMARLSY OR THE LIKE. ALSO, REMEMBER TO CAP THE NAMES. AND IF YOU WANTED HER TO BE OVERPOWERED, JUST GIVE HER POWERS SIMPLY. DON'T ADD TWO BROTHERS OR WHATEVER, THAT JUST MADE IT FEEL CRINGEY. I MEAN IT WOULD BE GOOD IF YOU HAVE DONE THAT NICELY. BUT LIKE THIS, IT BECAME MARY SUE. TRUST ME, I KNOW. I HAVE BEEN WRITITING MARY SUES FOR A LONG.

The story is great so far to where I read it, but sometimes there are long paragraphs and it is hard to keep up reading a block of paragraphs like that with no commas, and there are some minors spelling errors. This is all I found up to chapter 2, I hope you improve your spelling and spacing.

Reveal spoiler

I read all of the 9 currently released chapters before making this review. I usually like RWBY fanfics but your main character and their goals feel wrong for me, but that's a matter of taste. The story itself has a good plotline with the only problems in writing being a number of reoccurring grammatical errors. Overall, a good story so far, but not for me. (°^°)7 Keep writing and you'll do well.

horrible mc, bad personality, too much of a mary sue, also the grammar sucks .... ... .. . .. . . .. ... . . . . .. .. . . ............ ....

It's fine, somewhat, albeit with writing quality issues and cringe plot, it's still readable. Rose feels like an emo, smoking teenager more than anything else, not some alpha female like I've seen in other comments.

This has potential. hope you keep writing, I really like it. .