webnovel
makif_7Lv33yr
2021-07-26 16:49

From what I read so far, which is admittedly not too much because there are 2 chapters out at the moment, the story seems to be interesting. I hope it keeps being interesting in the future and i am eagerly waiting for new chapters.

Liked by 15 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
NotfriendsftwLv4

overall thoughts: It's incredibly mid (mediocre) (in debth review) -(criticism) as of 550, his writing seems to be allergic to providing details and gives too much information at the same time. he is lazy in his use of adding other fictional characters and every character has no complexity. the mentor characters are benevolent powerful characters that are entirely selfless and talk the same way as each other. selflessness is a common theme among characters. the author babies you in general throughout the book. everyone of his characters falls into either 1. it's the cut and paste mc but with a different appearance. or 2. they are a shallow ghost of a character. often the author will repeat the same things over and over. the pokemon training times are inconsistent. the parents trained new pokemon faster than the years when they were on their journey, their improvement got close to, if not, rivaled mc's pokemon training time with his space. the dialog is rather terrible, people talk too much in one go and the responses are generalized. the dialog doesn't flow and the characters are unnatural when speaking. some of the dialog really made me cringe with how unnatural the actions taken were the author doesn't understand and underestimates intelligence and so the main character is of above average intelligence in the clothes of borderline genius. the system gives out too much unnecessary information. the mc has no had any conflicts that trully gave him pause (compliments) author did a great job in not being terrible, many novels made by amateur novelists are cringe and hard to read, not the case here. I didn't have to think overly hard while reading. a lot of the decisions the main character makes actually make sense. the author seems to know what he wants out of his story. the best part of all is the fact the author hasn't lost motivation to write which is admirable. (improvements) add comparisons, they will help give a visualization to the reader. streamline the system info, to much info becomes monotonous to read. don't list measurements, use comparisons, let us use our imagination read up on intelligence, the way you sell your character is smarter than you have shown us. show don't tell, people don't like to be babied so you provide clues on instead of outright giving away everything. the dialog needs to flow and become more natural. ease up with pleasantries and spelling when writing informal speech, not everyone pronounces full words. people will play with words that go beyond what is proper. people are complex. motivations differ, surprise shows differently on people, people go through combinations of emotions. you need to separate your characters personality . their personality are too close to each other. give your mc something/ someone to struggle with, a roadblock of some kind. there is nothing to push the story in an interesting direction. keep consistency with the timings.

Related Stories

One Piece: Deriving All Things

Sanders has crossed into the world of One Piece, blessed with a unique ability: he can derive and master any power—Haki, Devil Fruits, combat techniques—everything can become his. To survive and grow stronger in this chaotic world, he joins the Marines, seeking structure and safety. But fate takes a dark turn when his adoptive parent is ruthlessly murdered by a Celestial Dragon. Sanders vows revenge, yet before he can act, he is captured by Sengoku and Kizaru, locked away in the depths of Impel Down. In the infamous prison, Sanders uses his power to derive new abilities from legends around him: the Moa Moa no Mi, the Fusion-Fusion Fruit, even Barrett's fearsome Haki. As years pass, Sanders grows more powerful, biding his time. Finally, he decides the moment has come—he walks out of Impel Down, shaking the world to its core. "You fought Kaido in a fierce battle; derivation time for the Azure Dragon Fruit reduced by one year." "You battled Whitebeard with all your strength; Gura Gura no Mi (Quake-Quake Fruit) successfully derived." "You clashed with Big Mom; her indomitable Steel Balloon Physique is now yours." At the Summit War, Sanders challenges the might of all three Admirals singlehandedly. Marine Headquarters: "He was once one of us; now, we regret it deeply." Boa Hancock: "I’ll stand by Sanders—let’s declare war on the Celestial Dragons!" Nico Robin: "Only he can bring me true safety." Join Sanders as he faces the mightiest forces of the One Piece world, deriving power from the strongest to fulfill his destiny. -------------- Access 30 chapters in advance on my Patreon: p@treon.com/OneFic This is a translation work; I do not own it. Raw:航海:推衍万物,顶上硬撼三大将

OneFic · Anime & Comics
4.8
105 Chs