Honestly, this could have been a good book, but I'm sorry to say this Author but you cannot write at all. No character development, no world development, and worst of all, even though what you write in english makes sense, your phrasing makes it seems like english is your fifth language. I recommend making a plan before you start writing your book, make a timeline and then re-read what you write with detail and expression. Not just YELLING every 3 seconds because you don't have enough vocabulary to compensate. A good way to fix this issue is to know a word of which you would place in the spot and find synonyms on the internet. Good luck with your writing.
Kin_Jovero
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