webnovel
hostile_fire
hostile_fireLv133yr
2021-07-19 07:07

I give writing quality 3 stars because the way you set up the dialogue is not great, with names and dashes it's not right, I suggest gaining experience by reading other fanfics and see how they set up the dialogue so you can improve everything else is okay though

Being rewritten don't bother reading

XxNaRuToUcHiHaxX
4.0
1 Chs

Liked by 6 people

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Replies1
Gh0st00
Gh0st00Lv15

not to mention all the damage he gets from any Ninjutsu he's using. the story being rushed most of the chapters are stats and that's pretty much it with a lot of info dump in very little anything else and so far from what I ran up to very little interaction with a with a bunch of information type skips little bit of what happened the story is basically just info dumps in stats

3yr
1
Other Reviews
The_Grindelwald
The_GrindelwaldLv5

Don't waste your time on this fanfic, it's not worth, the author doesn't know how to write a Naruto or a Gamer System fanfic so the two put together... The story telling is mediocre, the format writing is bad and the characters interactions are trash. The author lacks knowledge on Naruto and Gamer system to be credible to the readers and there's parts of the story that literally turn it into a crack fic...

3yr

Dr_Chad
Dr_ChadLv13

Well in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking at this matter in a different way and without fighting and by trying to make it clear, and by considering each and every ones opinion, I honestly believe that I completely forgot what I was going to say.

3yr
Corisynth
CorisynthLv13

(1-24)Speech and character interactions reads like a Chat Log. Not for me. I think it's a personal issue for me. It feels like the writer can't be bothered to fully flesh out speech and character interactions, so in return I can't be bothered to read the story.

3yr
Bierbart
BierbartLv14

Reveal spoiler

3yr
RandomSwordsThief
RandomSwordsThiefLv13

Just like 95% percent of Uchiha mc's, he is Itachi's and Sasuke's brother. Pretty cliche. As old as the rookie nine. So far, stories where the protagonist is as old as the main cast, are bland with a few exceptions. Like, Game of shadow of shadows. The best one so far. Long story short, it would have been better for the mc to be born earlier and escape the village. An Uchiha joins another village, whether it's a great village or a small one. Doesn't matter. Would've been nice to read.

3yr
UchihaZenn
UchihaZennLv5

Good Novel .................................................................. .................................................................. ..................................................................

3yr
Jeet_Chattopadhyay
Jeet_ChattopadhyayLv4

Great story so far really look forward to Rai meeting Itachi again when Itachi visits Konoha . The MC is great Rai is a very likeable dude so far . Really gonns look forward to how Rai being in the canon changes stuff . I don't really like the MC x Karin ship so far but I would trust in the authors judgement for now and see where it goes . There are few stuff I would like if you can do going forward such as Rai promoting to Chunin or Jonin by the end of the Chunin Exams I think it should happen because Rai as far as they are concerned is a prodigy that surpasses both Itachi and Minato so they should see his potential and promote him to Jonin or Hokage's Anbu unit as Itachi became a Anbu really young , I would want him to do solo missions moving forward rather than joining another team as he lost his team and I am looking forward to see Rai's Susaano . Really love this story Author San . Looking forward to the next chapters

3yr
Asura160
Asura160Lv5

It"s not that bad it need's more updates ............................................................................................................

3yr
BrianG9677
BrianG9677Lv15

Terrible novel due to 1 guaranteed author will drop 2 gamer mind removes immersion for readers 3 inventory infinite space idiotic writing Dropped when I read the third one

3yr
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