webnovel
Kandpalbhaskar010
Kandpalbhaskar010Lv43yr
2021-07-14 16:47

A great novel regarding the game named "Magique". Although the work only has four chapters, it has great potentianl. Protagonist Arthur is great character in game but in reality he is a noob. He gave his character everything he wanted in real life but never had it. He is a level 100 hero. Later because of some misfortune he got reiencarnated in the game world.

Liked by 6 people

LIKE
Replies3
kuhaku_sora
kuhaku_soraAuthor

Thank you for that awesome review, mate!

Kandpalbhaskar010
Kandpalbhaskar010Lv4

The work was great. So, review came out automatically.

kuhaku_sora:Thank you for that awesome review, mate!
EdwinTr
EdwinTrLv11

a

Other Reviews
Ainz_02
Ainz_02Lv2

overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage overall garbage

ChronosMrk1
ChronosMrk1Lv14

So there are a lot of things that can be improved upon. The writing itself is serviceable; as in there are no glaring mistakes except it being pretty poorly written and not reading too well. The information isn't presented in a satisfying way at all. It's mostly just info and exposition dumps. Better to first create intrigue then reveal things bit by bit, more through actions and dialogue than just prose. One of the biggest problems is that your suspension of disbelief really needs to be taken for a ride for you to enjoy this. He calls himself his real name but it stated that he's also somehow anonymous. No cares about anything but the game to the degree that parents don't care about their children even. Somehow broken glasses cause the MC to have "slashes all over his body" and he doesn't care since they'll "heal on their own". No, and infection? You could say that he doesn't care about the chances of infection but you didn't. Somehow he's one of the top ranked players in a game that has over taken the whole world but no one knows him. He gets electricuted and tried to touch some leather to save himself? What. And this was all in the first two chapters. Also he was injured after being transported but there's no HP damage. Lots of stuff like that.MC literally states his goals. "Be a hero people depend on." Please no, show don't tell ffs. Uses of metaphors in dialogue is weird. It's done often as well. Everything has a stilted and unnatural feeling to it. As far as originality goes there is barely any. A whole scene was copied, lines from movies are taken wholesale. Strange choices for a novel.Strange exaggerations like saying some extras laugh is something you'll never forget, or a normal village is compared to a painting of angles. Descriptions like these retroactively downplay any memorable scenes in the future. If you describe the mundane in such a way how will you describe something actually important or supposedly breathtaking. Generally it's written strangely with mismatched descriptions and metaphors, like describing a 40-50 yr old man as a youngster, or a brother describing her sisters eyes like "stars in the sky" in casual conversation, etc, etc.A lot more I can say but you get the gist. All together it's not that bad I guess.

K8ngxz
K8ngxzLv10
Related Stories

The Runic Alchemist

Ben, a postgraduate chemistry student, envisions a future where science unlocks the secrets of the universe. But fate has other plans. In a sudden twist, Ben dies and awakens in a strange new world, reborn as a five-year-old boy named Damian Sunblade. Damian's joy at being part of a noble family is short-lived. His family, valuing gold over blood, sells him off to another noble house to be groomed as a homemaker husband, a mere pawn in their political games. Struggling with his new reality and the remnants of his past life’s knowledge, Damian refuses to succumb to his fate. In his new household, Damian discovers that this world is governed by magic circles, Runic symbols wielding immense power. Driven by his scientific curiosity, Damian begins to experiment. Applying the laws of physics to the Rune symbols, he deciphers their secrets and invents his own unique form of magic. However, The family that bought him has their own plans for him, seeing Damian as a valuable tool to enhance their power. But Damian, ever the independent spirit, has dreams beyond servitude. He longs for freedom, a place to call his own—a life where he can use his talents without restraint. And so Damian devises a daring plan to escape. His journey is fraught with danger and intrigue, as he navigates a world filled with mystical creatures, powerful adversaries, and ancient secrets. Along the way, he forges alliances and battles enemies, all while refining his magical and scientific skills. In "The Runic Alchemist," follow Damian Sunblade’s epic quest for independence and self-discovery. Witness his transformation from a forsaken child to a formidable Alchemist, determined to carve out an extraordinary future for himself in a world teeming with infinite possibilities. ***** Author Note : Hello! GlaringError here! As I have already mentioned in my author review I am restating it here since I am getting tons of comments about it, that I am more of a reader myself than a writer, I made this novel in an attempt to capture my fantasy world residing in my mind into words.. Writing is new for me.. The premise of my novel is inspired by many great works that I have loved over the years. And some elements I have in my novel that are slightly similar to them but it's just the skeleton of it, the real meat of the plot is entirely my own cooking. Some of the influence that is more noticeable is from The Runesmith (By Kuropon), The King's Avatar (By Butterfly Blue) and Shadow Slave (By Guiltythree). I have immense respect for these legends and I can only hope to follow in their footsteps. To all those who comment just by judging the name, at least give it a chance before letting your opinions be known. Thank you.

GlaringError · Fantasy
4.3
386 Chs

What Do You Mean There Are Other Transmigrators In My Harem Fantasy?

In the most cliched fashion, a giant truck-kun smashed into my World, killing everyone with it. And in the next most cliched event, I was given a second chance in life by the gods to live another life in a world of swords, magic and dragons! It’s literally a dream come true! Be a hero? Who has the time?! Conquer the world? Like hell I’ll do something so troublesome! Diving into dungeons, exploring ancient ruins and meeting all the weirdos of the world? Sign me right up!! I’m only interested in travelling the world to find the most interesting materials I can use to write the best story I can! I’ll show you my creativity and dazzle this new world with the stories I’ll write! I’ll fight with dragons, swim with krakens, wrestle giants, eat all the cakes and bed the beauties! Time to live this life however I want! Eh? A psycho is running around the world saying that they are the hero who will slay the demon lord? Why is there such a crazy person? There’s someone out there threatening the world with nukes? How did they even find out how to make those? Some crazy hobo is going into other people’s houses to smash pots to look for money? That guy really must be crazy. What Do You Mean There Are Other Transmigrators In My Harem Fantasy? ----- [Character Creation:] [Gender:] [Male] [Female] >[Futa] *** Notes: Any R-rated scenes will be denoted by a '*' followed by an 'R' with the number of 'R's showing how much of it is R-rated. '*R' would be around 25%, '*RR' would be about 50% and '*RRR' would most likely be the entire chapter. You can join our discord through this link: https://discord.gg/CRrb56c

Draekai · Fantasy
4.3
915 Chs