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Evxl_Eye
Evxl_EyeLv11yr
2023-07-13 10:48

Although this wasn't what I was looking for, I couldn't help but leave a shameless review. I've read some of the comments and it seems you genuinely try to improve and enjoy writing this story. Thus, I shall leave you with this. Farewell.

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Retsag
RetsagAuthor

Thanks for the review, I hope you still enjoyed what you read of my story and that you'll soon find something you really love to read . Sincerely Retsag99 :]

Other Reviews
Leo_Magnien
Leo_MagnienLv3
Prince_nonchalant
Prince_nonchalantLv3

I must commend the author for trying something unique. This will be a honest review from me detailing what I think about the story. Synopsis: Not a bad synopsis. I can't say it will captivate every reader but it sure will catch the attention of those interested in this genre. Princes, technology, magic, it's all an interesting concept. Writing Quality: The grammar isn't unreadable. It's good compared to a lot of books on this website. However, I gave this a 4 because there were quite a few missing punctuation marks, run-on sentences, and incomplete words. At first, I was going to grant you the 5 since you stated that English isn't your first language but that's not the main issue as your grammar surpasses a lot of English speakers. I believe editing is your downfall here because the incomplete words aren't subject to grammar. I'd recommend reviewing your chapters and fixing those incomplete words. Development: The book has decent pacing. You're thrown in without understanding much. But personally, it lacked a little flavor, which is fine because that was only at the starting chapters. I also liked the concept of having 2 MCs. That can be tricky to handle but if done well, you can ace it. 4. Characters: Well, the prince seems the most energetic out of everyone. Great personality for the characters. No complaints there. However, the designs were a bit lacking imo. I usually don't mark for design unless the author decides to do designs. But your designs only included the clothes the characters were wearing and gave no physical reference. Of course, this could just be preference which is why I won't mark very hard for it. 4. World Background: This is what the book lacks most, especially in the first chapter. I was trying so hard to imagine where the character was. You gave context clues that he was running through some sort of forest which is why he fell etc. But it still wasn't enough. There were a few more instances like this. Some done better than others. I gave this a 3 as I believe improvements could be made. Overall: I hope you don't think I marked you too hard. I'm not saying your book is bad by any means. Not even close. I just believe there is room for improvement and that goes for every author inclusive of myself. Correct these minor issues and you'll have a story of gold. Don't give up author. Writing is difficult but persevere. I've been there but not giving up is the key. Good luck!

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