webnovel
Choco_Monster
Choco_MonsterLv113yr
2021-07-07 11:17

The character concept is good and the story has a well-thought-out plan but it lacks foundation. The childhood arc is usually the development arc but the story just skimmed or glossed over it rather than giving it more emphasis. I would say the story thus far is good the only problem I have that prevents me from truly enjoying the story is the fact that it has horrible grammar and has so many typos that I needed to re-read the sentence before understanding what it was about. I recommend that you get an editor or a proofreader, if not, use applications that would help correct your spelling and grammar like Grammarly because honestly speaking, it's hard to read.....

Am I not a diviner in potterverse, ok? Ah, look I am!

KuroBastard69
4.5
20 Chs

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Other Reviews
jeanpierregerardo
jeanpierregerardoLv5

-good history. -it would be interesting a * fem of harry potter = henrieta *. -and do not leave the story, there were others of harry potter where they begin as brothers of hermanioni (some or half always hate hermanioni for silly reasons xD). -I hope you include girls like (daphne and her sister who in the original was married to an old man, ginerva wesley, cho chang, susan bones, fleur delacour and her sister, Luna lovegood. the twins, among others who did not are mentioned a lot).

3yr

Darkoss
DarkossLv2

It's been a long time since I read such a good Harry Potter fanfic, and pls don't forget about luna :) . . . . . . . . . . . .

3yr
Lazy_Ryuu
Lazy_RyuuLv2

seeing this fanfic got my attention because I like HP alot and this is my first time a new magic? tbh I didn't even read it I just want to review this, I got hooked up by the picture and in the synopsis said that he was going to be cold. so... I will try this fanfic, hope you don't let me down!!

3yr
Hog980
Hog980Lv13

The story was interesting. Decent abilities unique to main character and powerful background. However, there are quite a few issues with grammar and spelling. The worst for me however was a chapter that seemed to sexualize 11 year old girls and having the MC actually molest one of them. For me that is where I gave up on the story.

3yr
God_of_Perverts
God_of_PervertsLv5

At first I thought this story was good. There are some grammar issues. My main gripe is the over sexualization of 11 year old girls. There is a whole chapter dedicated to it. Although the Mc is physically 11, he is mentally an adult, so it comes off creepy. I made it part way through chapter 17 but gave up after he imagined the face of a 12 year old girl as he violated her. If the characters where at least 18 or at the very least 16, there would be little problem. Ngl, this story feels pedo-ish.

3yr
KuroBastard69
KuroBastard69Author

Well I am shameless but not too much I don't give 5 stars at the end okay? Change the talk, why are you let of give your vote? Please I need your support. Help me and let a lot of feedback. I like, even the hate because the threads and debates about history. See ya mimna-sama.

3yr
DaoistwwYBDC
DaoistwwYBDCLv1

[img = recomendar]..................................................................................................................................

3yr
TingGoSkraa
TingGoSkraaLv12

Good ff, only problem I have is that the author sometimes uses the wrong terminology, like calling the trace the trait or calling squibs abortions. There are paragraph comments from people wherever there are these kinds of errors, so just look through them and fix it for later. Other than that the writing is fine.

3yr
damilon
damilonLv4

small errors in the writing, but the story is so amazing in only 11 chapters that it doesn't matter! incredible build up so far with characters that works with canon, but has fleshed out personality changes😇 the world has been used brilliantly so far. By far one of the best starts I've read in a while, if you can continue this story for full fleshed out story, then the story can go down in history as the standard for future works in fanfiction. Good job, keep up author🥳🥳

3yr
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