Review Detail of kuhaku_sora in Protector's War: The Infinite Realms

I really love the concept of the story! THe synopsis alone drew me closer to this book. After reading the first few chapters of the novel, I knew that this book was going to be special. However, there are some points that I'd like to point out. There are missing commas on some sentences, passive voice misuse, and incomplete sentences. Besides that, I think this story is going to be awesome! Kudos fro the author!