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Mythril_Blade
Mythril_BladeLv43yr
2021-09-19 04:52

As you probably read from the other reviews, the writing quality does get better. Just power through it and you'll get to the really good parts. There are a few things that came to my attention though. The first would be the terrible synopsis you have written. I mean seriously, you get no information out of this. And Please Put More Words In Each Line Anyway, the story is pretty interesting. A dude who gets reincarnated into Tensura and gets OP real fast is always a good combination in my books. He also goes into other universes too. (Danmachi, highschool of the dead and Campione or whatever it's called) The MC is a crazy and cold blooded killer, so be aware of that. Being calm and nonchalant when committing genocide kind of crazy, to be specific. I like it but some don't. To each their own I guess. Just give it a try if you're interested and don't get discouraged by the worse grammar in the first few chapters, trust me it truly gets better.

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Replies11
Pure_R18_Terror
Pure_R18_TerrorAuthor

what do you mean by each line, the dialogues or the paragraph length?

Mythril_Blade
Mythril_BladeLv4

Nah, I meant the synopsis. Could've been only half as long if you hadn't used a whole line for one sentence or a few words. Just mentioned it so it doesn't get carried over if you ever decide to redo the synopsis.

Pure_R18_Terror:what do you mean by each line, the dialogues or the paragraph length?
Pure_R18_Terror
Pure_R18_TerrorAuthor

oh I was sorta worried if the character dialogues felt lifeless or something

Mythril_Blade:Nah, I meant the synopsis. Could've been only half as long if you hadn't used a whole line for one sentence or a few words. Just mentioned it so it doesn't get carried over if you ever decide to redo the synopsis.
Mythril_Blade
Mythril_BladeLv4

Don't worry, they aren't. They're pretty lively imo

Pure_R18_Terror:oh I was sorta worried if the character dialogues felt lifeless or something
Pure_R18_Terror
Pure_R18_TerrorAuthor

this stroked my miniscule ego.

Mythril_Blade:Don't worry, they aren't. They're pretty lively imo
Pure_R18_Terror
Pure_R18_TerrorAuthor

lol after reading this through closely several times to stroke my almost non-existent ego, I realized one mistake. Don't you think he'd be breathing like a pervert after commiting genocide?

Mythril_Blade
Mythril_BladeLv4

Lol, I could see him do that yeah

Pure_R18_Terror:lol after reading this through closely several times to stroke my almost non-existent ego, I realized one mistake. Don't you think he'd be breathing like a pervert after commiting genocide?
Shaska
ShaskaLv3

the MC is a genocide who kills people, whether they are innocent or not? I do not care if he kills his enemies, but another thing is that he is massacring a population that has nothing to do with his things.

Ototsu_Yume
Ototsu_YumeLv10

Thanks, I'll give this a miss then; not interested in psychotic or sociopathic mcs.

Pure_R18_Terror
Pure_R18_TerrorAuthor

it's more along the lines of him being a warmonger with no care about the consequences of his actions on the people.

Shaska:the MC is a genocide who kills people, whether they are innocent or not? I do not care if he kills his enemies, but another thing is that he is massacring a population that has nothing to do with his things.
Shaska
ShaskaLv3

almost the same or worse than what I said ...

Pure_R18_Terror:it's more along the lines of him being a warmonger with no care about the consequences of his actions on the people.
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