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yohananmikhael
yohananmikhaelAuthor3yr
2021-08-29 14:01

Hi... I'm kind of frustrated at the moment from reading all the comments. Even though they are not rude, it still hit me since I didn't meet the readers' expectations. And as for that, please forgive me. I will still produce the best quality I could offer. This review isn't about me showing or wanting some pity. I want to the readers know that even I can't be the best writer, I'll be the most understanding writer. I'm taking all of the suggestions and reading plenty of light novels if I have time to widen my horizon, thus, I just want people to understand my concerns. This novel isn't usually a type of fantasy novel that is common or a trope that is repetitively used in the platform. I took a risk to implement such a trope so hope you appreciate it even it's not in the best of you could expect. These all I felt is something I understand. Normally, you won't receive praises every time and criticism will try to hit your shortcomings. It's helpful, I know it, however, I still can't help but feel anxious every time I see a number in my inbox (you know what I'm saying). So, instead of blabbering about my sentiments, I want to let people know that I am still an amateur. I didn't have any training or so, that's why I am still in the process of improving my work. I do mistakes. It's pretty common to me since I'm not a native English speaker (even those who are native speakers still make mistakes as 'no one is perfect'). What are my mistakes in this novel? Misused adjectives and adverbs. It's not common and at least you could stumble upon those funny mistakes like 2 out of 10 chapters and 3 in a thousand. But here's a reminder, pronouns are my weakness and sometimes I can't notice such mistakes. My language doesn't have pronouns for genders so hope you understand. Warning, incorrect spelling (but rare than legendary swords). I must let you know that my language doesn't have hard spellings as our words are spelled by how we speak them. Anyway, thank you for visiting and reading this review of mine. Last warning... Awkward structure but not all are grammatically incorrect.

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Replies17
shashank_panthri
shashank_panthriLv1

I will give it a try but still just a question, and I know this is kind of silly but are you planning any sort of romance for the guy in the system or maybe the girl that has the system? Can you tell me that if it doesn't spoil anything?

yohananmikhael
yohananmikhaelAuthor

there will be romance in the future but it won't spoil things

shashank_panthri:I will give it a try but still just a question, and I know this is kind of silly but are you planning any sort of romance for the guy in the system or maybe the girl that has the system? Can you tell me that if it doesn't spoil anything?
shashank_panthri
shashank_panthriLv1

the guy or the girl? Can you tell that without spoiling anything big?

yohananmikhael:there will be romance in the future but it won't spoil things
AD_Gaming3418
AD_Gaming3418Lv3

well I don't mind it the story is pretty good and considering that you have given us 80+ free chapter ( including fast pass ) I have to say many thanks to you and keep up the great work 😊😊👍

Pretend
PretendLv3

both id guess, i havent read it tho

shashank_panthri:the guy or the girl? Can you tell that without spoiling anything big?
yohananmikhael
yohananmikhaelAuthor

[spoiler] read at your own risk some might misread or misunderstood Ellena's decision in chapter 25. Amber was like a representative for Lumbert's family (main) to recruit Ellena. And Ellena accepted it. because of it, a question arose. why would she join the family that made her suffer? just for education and financial support? - she did accept Amber's offer since the branch of the family she came from wasn't affiliated with Ellena's sufferings. indeed. there are two Lumbert families. one is the count which is the main, and another one is the baron which Ellena came from. so... it was an advantage for Ellena to join them since she was still weak and needed support. she can't do vigilante work every time just to grow stronger. it won't be really beneficial since she'll just raise her points in that way. she still needs training which she can get if she joins. basically, it doesn't mean that she is op at the start since both Ellena and Aaron are still unknowledgeable of some things. -note that there are risks in every opportunity. and she didn't join the family that made her suffer.

CelestialAlcoholic
CelestialAlcoholicLv13

i’ll give a try as well! Dont be discouraged :)

shashank_panthri
shashank_panthriLv1

you should explain that in the chapter and not here in the comments. Most people will miss this and just drop the story because of a misunderstanding.

yohananmikhael:[spoiler] read at your own risk some might misread or misunderstood Ellena's decision in chapter 25. Amber was like a representative for Lumbert's family (main) to recruit Ellena. And Ellena accepted it. because of it, a question arose. why would she join the family that made her suffer? just for education and financial support? - she did accept Amber's offer since the branch of the family she came from wasn't affiliated with Ellena's sufferings. indeed. there are two Lumbert families. one is the count which is the main, and another one is the baron which Ellena came from. so... it was an advantage for Ellena to join them since she was still weak and needed support. she can't do vigilante work every time just to grow stronger. it won't be really beneficial since she'll just raise her points in that way. she still needs training which she can get if she joins. basically, it doesn't mean that she is op at the start since both Ellena and Aaron are still unknowledgeable of some things. -note that there are risks in every opportunity. and she didn't join the family that made her suffer.
yohananmikhael
yohananmikhaelAuthor

i already did but it came a little late

shashank_panthri:you should explain that in the chapter and not here in the comments. Most people will miss this and just drop the story because of a misunderstanding.
yohananmikhael
yohananmikhaelAuthor

CelestialAlcoholic:i’ll give a try as well! Dont be discouraged :)
Avery_Gerstner
Avery_GerstnerLv13

hello haven't read yet but in my personal opinion mistakes made make me smile because I know I'm not alone in this know matter what there is always someone having the same problem and Like to talk to these fellow people and help each other not everyone has this outlook but it is mine

yohananmikhael
yohananmikhaelAuthor

Avery_Gerstner:hello haven't read yet but in my personal opinion mistakes made make me smile because I know I'm not alone in this know matter what there is always someone having the same problem and Like to talk to these fellow people and help each other not everyone has this outlook but it is mine
I_LOVE_MEGUMIN
I_LOVE_MEGUMINLv12

Will the system user be the love interest or will there be no romance???

yohananmikhael
yohananmikhaelAuthor

kind of complicated but there will be love for sure

I_LOVE_MEGUMIN:Will the system user be the love interest or will there be no romance???
Ghost_Playing
Ghost_PlayingLv15

I wanna start reading it but I must know the most important thing first. DOES THE SYSTEM SPEAK TO ELLENA? Because if yes... wouldnt she immediately notice that he was human? You know the manner of speach and aruff or is he restricted by that so that he doesn’t reveal it?

Ghost_Playing
Ghost_PlayingLv15

Alrg you don’t need to answer my first question anymore cause I just gave your novel the 10 capter test and even though it wasn’t bad, I honestly just don’t like your "type" of novel so it isn’t your fault or the storys fault for being bad but rather tgat I just don’t like the genere from your novel. But I checked iut your other novels and I think I’m gonna read the "Sage in a cultivation world" as it interests me. But keep going and don’t let others discourage you from writing this novel as long as you like it yourself everything would be okay 👍

ThalesChief
ThalesChiefLv13

Is the novel still being released? i was going to read it, but i saw it has been 1 month since last update.. thanks in advance!

Other Reviews
yohananmikhael
yohananmikhaelAuthor

[Use this review to survive the first volume. You'll miss the fun if you cry over the decisions. Take your time reading this; there will be some spoilers, but not enough to be a mega spoiler. Volume one was about creating a character for Ellena, basically.] I don't know if my review reflects my current ability or the quality I can produce, but I felt like it had been good since I often check my drafts. Every time I will upload a new chapter, I edit it two times (basically the time I can use to edit these), and if while I read it again, I don't see any spelling errors, or what I can just see. Sometimes, I unintentionally overlook things, so I will apologize again for that. How to survive the first volume? Read all the contents since I don't really do much filler. Filler, in pretext for explaining things over and over again. Maybe I did it, but it was for the purpose of marking it in the minds of the readers.  Please tolerate some of the errors. There are errors that make reading awkward. But some phrases will just surface, if for that subject, but not all of the paragraph will be. Note that I am still working, honing my skills, and that will basically take a short time. If I continue on working, perhaps I can reach a majestic way of writing. Some said that my grammar was bad. But to be honest, it wasn't actually that bad for me. I admit that there were some misused and really grammatically incorrect, but for some of those, it wasn't bad. I just wrote some uncommon structuring. I think that it would sound comfortable for others, but not everyone will like it. I read some compliments about it and some comments that it was bad, but I don't care anymore. I can't correct my past mistakes anyway, so I could just improve them while doing the same action in the future. If I focus on thinking about it, how will I grow? There were some problems with the transitioning... I admit that it would bring some confusion, but I am an avid fan of light novels, and mostly what I read doesn't have any indication that the perspective has changed. They just used marks and, for example, "***", to indicate that there was a transition of perspective, time, and location. The next way to survive the first volume is to admit that mistakes are foundations for improvement. There was a part in the novel where Ellena joined the main family of Lumbert, which was the parent family of Ellena's previous family. Why did they make that decision? Of course, Aaron was having second thoughts, and also suspicion about it. And since then, they heard from the headmaster of the orphanage that the head of the Lumbert Comital Family was corrupt. The next few days, they were approached by a member of the family to ask for her help to overthrow and kill the head, since he was ruling the country in the shadows, they were less tense about deciding. What just went into Ellena's mind was the privilege and for the sake of her justly personality. It wasn't bad for joining them. They can have funds and also a possible better future. But of course, every decision will have to take a risk. There was no pure safety for Ellena at that time. Even if she had Fear System because of Aaron, she wouldn't be safe. Does that mean she had to continue doing vigilante work? What if some people would go after her, and basically she's still weak who had only lightning manipulation as her card, they had to fight plenty of high-ranking rune owners? Of course, she'll have no chance of winning. Basically, their problem with education is that Aaron can't reach her completely, and the privileges that they couldn't get just because they had money that they stole, will be limited since Ellena's personality was blocking it. That's why they donated it because of some conscience Ellena had, which is unreasonable but will be explained why all that happened. Sighs... It's too hard to explain. To survive the first volume, always remember that there will be a reason why things happen. Even though it won't be explained in the same chapter, it will be tackled in the later chapters. Some illogical phenomena will also be explained in the future. So I beg you, to see the hidden value of this book, be patient. It's the same with the anime we watch. There would be no perfect decision since Aaron was making some way for Ellena to learn it on her own. He basically doesn't like injecting or pushing his views on Ellena; he's just there to guide her. Even if he wanted all of them to die, he couldn't say it since his purpose of helping Ellena was because of her destiny. He couldn't change that and make Ellena an apathetic person. Her personality was still connected to the previous timeline in some aspects.

DraconicBoi
DraconicBoiLv2

|| This review will only be limited to volume 2 as I will wait for volume 3 to continue reading. || Writing Quality [ 3 stars ]: Somehow, the amount of errors got worse in volume 2. It did improve around the middle of the volume but just enough to be on par with volume 1's quality. I hope the author could improve his writing because it is the only reason preventing me from calling it one of the best original story I have ever read. || Stability of Updates [ 4 stars ]: At the start of the volume, the release rate is a very consistent 2 chap/day. But in the later stages of the volume, it became highly unstable [ 1 chap/2 day -- 4 chap/day ]. It's fine with me since I pretty much binge read the entire volume anyways :) || Story Development [ 4 stars ]: I thought that the story by volume 1 is interesting but the author never ceases to amaze me as volume 2 brings the story to a whole new level. The few flaws in my opinion are: Ellena is finally getting her much needed time to stabilize her emotions, but she still acts nearly the same as she did before though. The few middle chapters when the time skips happened are especially boring to read. I felt this part could've been better. || Character Design [ 4 stars ]: The low rating is due to the poor description of the members of the 3rd generation group ( the author did state a reason for this ). In my opinion, introduced characters should always be related to the main story and therefore needed to be described better in order to increase the sense of immersion in the story. Because this lack of description, the scenes they are in became hard to imagine, making the chapter feel bland. The design for the other characters in the story is great though, I can't wait to see more. || World Background [ 4 stars ]: We're finally introduced to more of the world, though I feel the description for some of the places are a little bit lacking. || Extra opinion: I might've judged wrongly at some point as I'm very tired at the moment of writing this review due to online school. Anyways, the 'main' plot about demons have finally start to unfold. You should definitely try this story out. Again, I shall wait for volume 3 to complete before reading to avoid cliffhangers :v. || Total score: 3.8 stars

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