A good story all in all. I would add a bit more to spice this story up though. Only a couple of grammar issues, but I won't hold that against you. Honestly, I think that a bit of description of the environment and characters may be useful. I would also try changing the pace just a bit. Spice it up a little more and add a bit of tension.
TheBlackHatMan
Liked by 3 people
LIKETheBlackHatMan:Yeah I know right? I am struggling the most in describing the surroundings and I am almost clueless as this is my first writing. But I am still try and I will always update when I can improve any part. Thanks for your opinion. I will keep these advice in mind. ^^