good story.. good writing.... i like the how the chapters switch between the present and the past to show how the mc got to where he is. but i dont like the one sidedness the author puts on the mc.. what i mean by that is the way the author blocks out certain aspects of emotional realism to drive a narrative.. only at chapter 18 btw.. i will give you an example of what i mean.. the mc told forgot his names mother that her son was dead, but not long after he came back perfectly fine and so the mc naturally feels remorse, self blame and guilt now normally this would be fine and correct. but not at all in this situation maybe a little but no where near as heavy as it is shown even with his depression, anxiety and loss over his parents infact this combination of emotions over the loss of his parents would more likely push him to the opposite extreme of complete outrage, any the situation is the mother tells the mc that soso hasn't returned from the forest, so he goes out gets attacked by momsters and eventually arrives at a goblin camp where he finds the diary of the son being played with by a goblin, and the mc being the good risk his life just incase he might still be alive and also takes away the diary, which doing so alarmed the goblins.. so as this was happening the son had actually been paralyzed by a plant which is just as dangerous, any way the mc comes out of the forest all tattered and bloody.. well unless health potions fix clothes and clean blood stains but i doubt, he makes it to the inn. ps not a single person showing any reaction or concern to the mc btw and tells the mother that her son is dead which using all the information he has collected so far is 99 percent assured and any other logical person would come to the same conclusion since the forest is filled with wolves and goblins and the son is just a villager and then the son walks in.. and every freaks out and accuses the mc ecta you get the rest, now i would get if they blamed him in the moment but after it calmed down and they noticed his clothes and exhaustion which were plainly obvious, and if he the mc bothered to give the slightest explanation as to why he said the son was dead every one would forgive him, but he didnt but that can be explained as the mcs personality.. any way the villagers treated him as an outcast after this incident, which ok i can get sorta.. but what i don't get is why the mc dosnt even have the slightest outrage, annoyance or indignation at being treated like this, it literally makes zero sense the mc knows what he had to go through just to make sure he is okay and he knows the danger he put himself in just to get the guys diary. you may have some self blame at making the mother cry but that is it. it wouldnt be to such an extreme as the author writes it as, it really feels too forced and honestly makes the mc unlikable. but really this whole incidence is pretty forced no matter how ignorant the villagers are. but any way other than that the story and writing is good it is just the author forcing the mc to feel unrealistic emotions to drive a certain narrative that i dont like . sorry if this is a very run off review was tired when writing couldn't think properly and organise my words.
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Thank you for the review, Pork! Grasped what you meant and you're right as with how the narrative went, it's probably my fault for not considering all the situation and high-key focused on a certain narrative. The character development I made for the protagonist starts with him misinformed, arrogant at times and as you said--can be downright unlikeable. As you said, he could probably get upset at the villagers for not even batting an eye at him. Downright just ignoring his appearance when he arrived in the inn after running away from a goblin camp. I think he just grew up, very more used to blaming himself than others. He grew up surviving an attack that killed both of his parents and rather than get comforted by his grandparents, his grandfather trained him to be *stronger* and subconsciously, it did instigate the idea that if he was only *stronger, smarter* then all of the terrible things wouldn't happen. While his grandmother spent a great deal of time grieving for his mother that the MC just chose to act okay and fine. It was only through drinking that he got some minor alleviation from the pain. He did have some grievances about the situation--but during the morning, instead of moping about, MC approached the Village Head about the Goblin Camp Problem. He's concerned about them, thinks they're being stupid for letting a threat go while they're confident about how the problem isn't too big. I do need to consider more realistic village reactions though. Unless I wanted to go with a very 2D and limited characterization for them. Thank you for pointing it out!
ah yes that is a problem you can see with most webnovels authors get so caught up in there mcs story they ignore everything else just to push it a certain way. although i am a reader and have never written a novel before, i like to think i have alot of experience since i have read alot of books personally i think the trick is make the world the mc, the mc reacts to the world not the other way around. the mc should just be another perspective of what is happening in the world and how they react not the be all end all.. i personally think if you change your perspective to be in such a way you will avoid i guess a form of tunnel vision. but that is just my personal opinion.. i am not an author after all
Thank you for the feedback, really appreciate it, Pork! You pointed out some great observations about Webnovels. While most are written for wish-fulfillment, self-satisfaction that focuses on the MC growing and becoming powerful, most of the side characters, and background characters easily become irrelevant lol. Thanks for calling me out! I'll revise and edit the scenes of the villagers to portray a more realistic perspective on them and try to set up things for the *world* more than the MC if possible, and in the future, the actual Potion Bar and the people he encounters! However, as I am but a feeble human, I may also still end up missing out some things xD If you continue reading this work, feel free to call out stuff! Helps create a better work as a whole
