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Sigma_Male124
Sigma_Male124Lv13yr
2021-06-26 22:11

just keep it up author!!!!!! you are doing great please dont drop this best ever pokemon fanfic !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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SentToOblivion
SentToOblivionLv4

Take this review with a grain of salt, I only read around 9 chapters before I just couldn’t take it anymore. Writing Quality: 4 stars, use grammarly, there are a lot of mispellings and grammatically incorrect sentences. Updating Stability: Good, no complaints. From what I can tell this was uploaded pretty consistently, and I know first hand that that’s hard to do without getting bored. Story Development: Almost immediately we are given the knowledge that the mc has both knowledge of the game and anime versions of the pokemon world. This sets him apart from the rest and makes him special. We are also introduced to Leaf as a possible love interest. Here is where it starts to derail. I can accept the mc wanting to travel alone if there was a good reason. The reason the mc gave however, is simply not a good one. Pushing past that, when the mc actually begins his journey we are led to the Ho-oh event. Right then, does the author make the mistake which I believe honestly ruins things. Glorifying the original main character and lowering your own. This is a fanfiction. Why the h*ll are you so against changing plot. Character Design: In my opinion this was done atrociously. The problem with making your mc seem so intelligent in the start is the fact that you as an author need to actively portray that. The author in this case, completely deficates on that notion. Time and time again the mc makes idiotic decisions with absolutely no logic. Time and time again the mc say’s he has a plan yet we never are told what that plan is. Instead of making the mc smarter, the author has just resorted to making everyone else seem like a complete idiot. My first case and point, when mc idiotically waltzed into the team rocket base after somehow scaring one of the members. Later on after he purchases something from that same member that he honestly could’ve gotten anywhere he is trailed behind by a member. This same member apparently doesn’t use any type of pokemon that would be able to keep track of him, and ultimately looses him. He then reports back and we are given a scene of him glorifying the mc for idiotic reasons, “Theres nothing I could’ve done.” Overall, mc is just an idiot in a braindead world. World background: Meh, it’s a fanfiction you don’t need to really give an indepth history lesson on the world as more than likely the readers are already familar. I am taking away stars though because of how you ruined the officer Jenny’s and the nurse Joy’s.

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FictionOnlyReader · Anime & Comics
4.2
361 Chs