really enjoying it so far. the characters are good, the world is interesting, and the development doesn't come in dumps. it feels organic, like it's actually happening and not being explained to the readers by the author. that being said, the biggest point of improvement I can think of is giving out more details of communication/observation in dialogue. it can devolve into screenplay-esque "he said: she said:" and that can be dry. giving every paragraph at least 2 sentences describing how it's said or an internal reaction help to both understand who's saying what and masking foreshadowing/character development details. it also helps as a crutch to remind you that your characters have bodies in a place instead of existing in your head. not something I noticed in your work, but what I use it for.
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Yeah, the beginning of this novel has to be partially rewritten for that very reason. Only adding more narrator and removing (name) stuff and so on. I'll do it for Amazon Release when it comes to that
