webnovel
kuhaku_sora
kuhaku_soraLv34yr
2021-04-08 15:15

First of all, I like the title! It kinda reminds me of the book "I am number four". It also has a unique story line that the author described in the beginning of the chapter. That goes to show how dedicated he is (the author) to let, readers, know the world! Great job (plus *coughs* the scratching of his balls WKKWKW) Overall I like how you explained the story and what they see. The only thing that I want to point out are the confusing words and sentences in the story. It didnt distrupted my journey, but it would be really nice if you could improve those few lines better!

They called me FIVE

phoenixhyperion
4.9
243 Chs

Liked by 22 people

LIKE
Replies15
phoenixhyperion
phoenixhyperionAuthor

Thanks for the advice 😉

4yr
1
Kayastor
KayastorLv11

Is it based off of the i am number four series or taken inspiration from it? Thay were my favorite books tonread during middle school lol

phoenixhyperion:Thanks for the advice 😉
3yr
5
phoenixhyperion
phoenixhyperionAuthor

Actually, its based on Umbrella Academy netflix series 😅 I just love Five and Klaus so much I want to make my first fantasy novel inspired by their characters. It was only later I found out (from the reviews) there's actually a book 'I Am Number Four'. Of course I binge read it in two weeks. It took me a week to get over Henri's death.😢 and Sarah... 😭 mud freaking fudge Saraahh!!! 😢 I just can't get over her. I really dont know if I should read the book after United as One or not.

Kayastor:Is it based off of the i am number four series or taken inspiration from it? Thay were my favorite books tonread during middle school lol
3yr
5
Matt_pike
Matt_pikeLv5

Is there any romance?

phoenixhyperion:Thanks for the advice 😉
3yr
1
Kayastor
KayastorLv11

Henris death was so sad :( it made me cry the first time reading it. luckily i was reading in the hallway so none of my friends saw me lol. The books after united as one are pretty good its main characters are students from the academy for humans who got powers. of corse we still see john and everyone else but they are teachers or off doing their own thing.

phoenixhyperion:Actually, its based on Umbrella Academy netflix series 😅 I just love Five and Klaus so much I want to make my first fantasy novel inspired by their characters. It was only later I found out (from the reviews) there's actually a book 'I Am Number Four'. Of course I binge read it in two weeks. It took me a week to get over Henri's death.😢 and Sarah... 😭 mud freaking fudge Saraahh!!! 😢 I just can't get over her. I really dont know if I should read the book after United as One or not.
3yr
2
phoenixhyperion
phoenixhyperionAuthor

Sorry no 😅 If ya want I can add one. And then they'll die. Happy ever after 🧐

Matt_pike:Is there any romance?
3yr
2
phoenixhyperion
phoenixhyperionAuthor

Cool! But I still can't get over Sarah. Is Nine still there? I freaking love him 🤣

Kayastor:Henris death was so sad :( it made me cry the first time reading it. luckily i was reading in the hallway so none of my friends saw me lol. The books after united as one are pretty good its main characters are students from the academy for humans who got powers. of corse we still see john and everyone else but they are teachers or off doing their own thing.
3yr
Kayastor
KayastorLv11

Yeah nine is a pe instructor if i remember correctly or at least something like that.

phoenixhyperion:Cool! But I still can't get over Sarah. Is Nine still there? I freaking love him 🤣
3yr
2
Joshua_Chapman_0663
Joshua_Chapman_0663Lv1

You know there is a film based off the book?

Kayastor:Henris death was so sad :( it made me cry the first time reading it. luckily i was reading in the hallway so none of my friends saw me lol. The books after united as one are pretty good its main characters are students from the academy for humans who got powers. of corse we still see john and everyone else but they are teachers or off doing their own thing.
3yr
1
Avatar00
Avatar00Lv5

I know there was a film name "I am number four." But I did not know it was based on a book. I might need to read it. This novel just sounds like "I am number four." Or at least the last part is just like it.

Joshua_Chapman_0663:You know there is a film based off the book?
3yr
1
Kayastor
KayastorLv11

Yeah i remember watching it a couple years ago. I personally think it is a decent film but it got a lot of things wrong from the book so I dont remember enjoying it.

Joshua_Chapman_0663:You know there is a film based off the book?
3yr
1
Tangerqueen
TangerqueenLv2

wait actually tho .-.

Kayastor:Henris death was so sad :( it made me cry the first time reading it. luckily i was reading in the hallway so none of my friends saw me lol. The books after united as one are pretty good its main characters are students from the academy for humans who got powers. of corse we still see john and everyone else but they are teachers or off doing their own thing.
3yr
Tangerqueen
TangerqueenLv2

yeah I think it didn't really do the books justice ;-;

Kayastor:Yeah i remember watching it a couple years ago. I personally think it is a decent film but it got a lot of things wrong from the book so I dont remember enjoying it.
3yr
dan_saiyad
dan_saiyadLv1

is hero crazy like 5 and is villainous type hmm?

phoenixhyperion:Actually, its based on Umbrella Academy netflix series 😅 I just love Five and Klaus so much I want to make my first fantasy novel inspired by their characters. It was only later I found out (from the reviews) there's actually a book 'I Am Number Four'. Of course I binge read it in two weeks. It took me a week to get over Henri's death.😢 and Sarah... 😭 mud freaking fudge Saraahh!!! 😢 I just can't get over her. I really dont know if I should read the book after United as One or not.
3yr
phoenixhyperion
phoenixhyperionAuthor

Y'mean the MC here? At first, he's the hero type. He has skeptical, overdramatic nonsense attitude and most of the time can be irritating. By irritating I mean a lot. Read the hundred chaps and he's still like that. If you hate that type of MC, feel free to drop this story. If you still want to read it, cool. As bonus, I got something for ya. A character arc SPOILER. If you have watched AoT and Code Geass anime, be warn MC has the same trait as Eren and Lelouch.

dan_saiyad:is hero crazy like 5 and is villainous type hmm?
3yr
Other Reviews
NakedApron
NakedApronLv3

The constant mix of present tense and past tense is reallly realllllly annoying. And after reading like 4 chaps, I still don't know if you intended to write things in present tense or past tense. Other than that, there's not much to badmouth regarding grammar. As for WOrld and character design, they're very very interesting. Everything's explained in a quick, no-nonsense manner, and you can see the characters' personalities oozing out from the pages. Some passages read in a bit of an exaggerated manner to emphasize plot points and character traits, but it's nothing too overbearing. As for story dev, I rly can't say much at this point in the novel

4yr

Kyn
KynLv6

I haven't read it yet, but i know its great. Why ? Cuz i can feel it. I saw this novel last week and the first thing i noticed since then is the release rate, and its pretty cool. I'm gonna wait some more chapter to read, but i know i'll enjoy it. Keep the high release rate and i'm sure u'll reach something. Thanks. :D

3yr
Mira_Diem
Mira_DiemLv3

Reveal spoiler

3yr
Maokitten
MaokittenLv1

Your writing can improve. But The writing flow made me easy to read and understand about the characters and everything. I can imagine them as I read it. Your writing is neat and clear. Keep it up!

4yr
deleterduser322223
deleterduser322223Lv4

Great cover! it instantly hooked me for the story. And so far writing quality is very good! as for what should be improved. the synopsis... its a mess. I'm my opinion you should properly arrange it. Also after reading some chapters I noticed some of your sentences were too long. don't be afraid to go on to the next line. Also am very doubtful about your chapter names(perhaps make them a bit shorter?)

4yr
calfikydra
calfikydraLv10

I adore your writing talents! It's really good, and far more advanced than so many other novels i've read on this platform. This isn't typically the genre i'd pick, but you convinced me to keep reading - because the story was so freaking interesting! Will definitely come back! good job <3

4yr
Ysabel_xox
Ysabel_xoxLv4

Reveal spoiler

4yr
_Jaeee
_JaeeeLv2

I love your writing style, It gives more life and emphasizes the story line even more. The Author thought of a very captivating concept that will definitely leave the readers hooked and wanting for more. Keep up the good work, Author! Kudos!

4yr
vinthakadha
vinthakadhaLv1

wonderful story. it just pulls you in. each chapter makes the story better and better. you just get drawn into the story as you keep reading. i think spelling errors and grammatical errors can be ignored since they are found in almost every book. anyway. this sooks to be a promising book.

4yr
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