webnovel
deleterduser322223
deleterduser322223Lv43yr
2021-04-07 17:21

Great cover! it instantly hooked me for the story. And so far writing quality is very good! as for what should be improved. the synopsis... its a mess. I'm my opinion you should properly arrange it. Also after reading some chapters I noticed some of your sentences were too long. don't be afraid to go on to the next line. Also am very doubtful about your chapter names(perhaps make them a bit shorter?)

They called me FIVE

phoenixhyperion
4.9
243 Chs

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
Replies4
phoenixhyperion
phoenixhyperionAuthor

Thaank you 🥰 And thanks for the advice!

3yr
1
deleterduser322223
deleterduser322223Lv4

man am starting to feel guilty coz of the low rating...

phoenixhyperion:Thaank you 🥰 And thanks for the advice!
3yr
phoenixhyperion
phoenixhyperionAuthor

What are ya saying co-detective fan? 😅 It's already high for me! And I'm grateful for the advice! I'm just so happy no one gave me 1 or 2 star rating.😅

deleterduser322223:man am starting to feel guilty coz of the low rating...
3yr
1
deleterduser322223
deleterduser322223Lv4

co-detective fan... hehe nice! I like that name😂😂

3yr
Other Reviews
kuhaku_sora
kuhaku_soraLv3

First of all, I like the title! It kinda reminds me of the book "I am number four". It also has a unique story line that the author described in the beginning of the chapter. That goes to show how dedicated he is (the author) to let, readers, know the world! Great job (plus *coughs* the scratching of his balls WKKWKW) Overall I like how you explained the story and what they see. The only thing that I want to point out are the confusing words and sentences in the story. It didnt distrupted my journey, but it would be really nice if you could improve those few lines better!

3yr

NakedApron
NakedApronLv3

The constant mix of present tense and past tense is reallly realllllly annoying. And after reading like 4 chaps, I still don't know if you intended to write things in present tense or past tense. Other than that, there's not much to badmouth regarding grammar. As for WOrld and character design, they're very very interesting. Everything's explained in a quick, no-nonsense manner, and you can see the characters' personalities oozing out from the pages. Some passages read in a bit of an exaggerated manner to emphasize plot points and character traits, but it's nothing too overbearing. As for story dev, I rly can't say much at this point in the novel

3yr
Kyn
KynLv6

I haven't read it yet, but i know its great. Why ? Cuz i can feel it. I saw this novel last week and the first thing i noticed since then is the release rate, and its pretty cool. I'm gonna wait some more chapter to read, but i know i'll enjoy it. Keep the high release rate and i'm sure u'll reach something. Thanks. :D

3yr
Mira_Diem
Mira_DiemLv3

Reveal spoiler

3yr
Maokitten
MaokittenLv1

Your writing can improve. But The writing flow made me easy to read and understand about the characters and everything. I can imagine them as I read it. Your writing is neat and clear. Keep it up!

3yr
calfikydra
calfikydraLv10

I adore your writing talents! It's really good, and far more advanced than so many other novels i've read on this platform. This isn't typically the genre i'd pick, but you convinced me to keep reading - because the story was so freaking interesting! Will definitely come back! good job <3

3yr
Ysabel_xox
Ysabel_xoxLv4

Reveal spoiler

3yr
_Jaeee
_JaeeeLv2

I love your writing style, It gives more life and emphasizes the story line even more. The Author thought of a very captivating concept that will definitely leave the readers hooked and wanting for more. Keep up the good work, Author! Kudos!

3yr
vinthakadha
vinthakadhaLv1

wonderful story. it just pulls you in. each chapter makes the story better and better. you just get drawn into the story as you keep reading. i think spelling errors and grammatical errors can be ignored since they are found in almost every book. anyway. this sooks to be a promising book.

3yr
Related Stories

Recently Dumped by Gold-Digger, Goddess Asked Me to Sign a Birth Consent Form

Just as Ye Fan got dumped by a gold-digger, he received a call from the hospital. Little did he expect that, ten months ago on one fateful night, he and his crush Bai Susu did something unspeakable... From that moment on, he embarked on the path of a doting dad... Pampering his wife, spoiling his kids... Unlimited affection! "Hello, Mr. Ye Fan, your wife is about to give birth in the hospital, hurry over to sign the paperwork!" An urgent voice sounded from the phone. "What, what's going on, kid, and wife?" Ye Fan was utterly bewildered at that moment. ... Just got dumped, then his biggest crush came knocking on his door. From then on, he embarked on the journey of spoiling his wife, spoiling his kids, unlimitedly! They had a grand wedding, everyone in town joined in the love fest! As the saying went, good things should be shared together, not alonel! So, let's all enjoy the love fest together!

Silly Little Bok Choy · Urban
4.1
642 Chs

My Life Changed with the Unlimited System

Ethan Cole was just your average guy dealing with life's usual ups and downs—until one night, he was chosen by the "Unlimited System." [DISCLAIMER: If after reading a few chapters and you feel that this story is not to your liking, I hope you can just drop it without complaining or condemning. I am just writing this for fun and I am grateful to those who enjoy this series. I have no time to argue or reply to negative comments or reviews. Unless it is something constructive.] This mysterious system didn't just make him rich—it gave him access to endless wealth and set his life on an entirely new path. The twist? Every mission the system assigns unlocks incredible powers that propel Ethan to a new level of strength and influence. But it's not just about lavish spending or luxury—though that's part of the ride! Ethan's journey is full of missions that guide his decisions, from building NovaTech into a futuristic tech empire to buying a football club and even creating an app to revolutionize the food delivery business. Each move brings him closer to uncovering a hidden world of unimaginable power and secret societies. Behind the scenes, Ethan stumbles upon the Great Families—an elite group secretly controlling much of the city. These families uphold a long-standing tradition of combat, where sparring matches or even deadly duels are used to settle disputes and display their true power. For them, wealth is important, but physical strength and combat prowess are the true measures of dominance. With his newfound abilities, Ethan is about to be drawn into their dangerous world of elite warriors, high-stakes confrontations, and hidden agendas. Expect thrilling twists, epic confrontations, and a fast-paced journey where the rules of reality don't quite apply. Whether outsmarting business rivals, dealing with secretive elite families, or rising to new power levels, Ethan's world is a wild ride of action, ambition, and over-the-top fun. Disclaimer: This story takes place in a world similar to Earth, but not our Earth. Don't expect real-world rules, daily transactions, laws, or logic to apply every time and everywhere here.

NoahCaelum · Urban
4.9
90 Chs

Ultimate Choice System: I Became The Richest!

Noah, a highschooler was struggling due to his family's poverty and his father's declining health. Despite that, he was content with his life... Until he visited his girl, trying to surprise her with a gift. "~~~" Muffled sounds came out of her room as he stood at the door. "She is... cheating on me?" Just as Noah is about to confront her, a mysterious robotic voice echoes in his mind: [Ding! Congratulations to the host binding the Ultimate Choice System!] Option 1: Enter the room. [$100 Reward and a green hat] Option 2: Leave the house and break up later. [Rolls Royce Phantom and Basic-Driving Skill Reward] Option 3: Marry her mother. [Lamborghini Aventador SVJ, Intermediate-Driving Skill and $10,000 Reward] "Naturally, option 3." He grinned. ________ Disclaimer: 'Ultimate Choice System: I Became The Richest!' is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. This book may reference real companies and organizations, but these references are for narrative purposes only and are not intended to depict the actual conduct or involvement of these entities. The use of these names and references is not meant to harm, defame, or discredit these companies or organizations.

Risaliyah · Urban
4.2
159 Chs

Asked you to write a book, not to confess your criminal record!

Lin Chuan, a struggling writer, finally got his golden finger—the Career Life Experience System. Randomly experiencing a profession, after the experience is over, novels will be generated based on Lin Chuan's experiences. But Lin Chuan found that the professions he experienced were all too sketchy! Swindler, Assassin, Hacker, Touch Gold Captain... Corresponding novels were born: “Swindler,” “Hacker Kingdom,” “Touch Gold Notes,” and others came into existence. Before he knew it, his works became popular. Selected reader comments: “This book describes things too realistically, this is definitely an autobiography!” “With you confessing and me confessing, Mr. Lin will end up in prison sooner or later.” “Author Lin Chuan (×), Suspect Mr. Lin (√)” Unexpectedly, the reader's prophecy has come true! The police showed up, “We suspect you're involved in serious illegal and criminal activities!” Lin Chuan, “Huh?” The police, “The crimes in your novels, they're your actual deeds, right?” Lin Chuan's vision went dark. Done for, I've written myself into the station, but I'm really not a criminal suspect!!!!!!

Cabbage, cabbage, ah · Urban
4.4
346 Chs

I am the Entertainment Tycoon

After sacrificing his life to save others, an orphan is granted a second chance by the Universe. Transmigrating to a new reality, he seizes the opportunity to pursue his dreams and make a lasting impact on the world. In this new life, he not only finds a loving family to support, but he also builds a company that revolutionizes the industry. His talents are boundless—he becomes known as the MasterChef of the gods, a superstar singer, the greatest Mangaka, a visionary Director, and the businessman of the millennium. His legacy will be defined by countless achievements, each more extraordinary than the last. _____________________________________________ If you guys like my novel, send some Power Stones. comment and review it to support me. :) The novel’s discord: https://discord.gg/Yknx9wFE

StarryForestJaguar · Urban
4.0
787 Chs

Dragon Monarch System

[Ding! Dragon Monarch System has been activated.] Aditya finds himself in the body of a 19 years old dragon. Aditya learns the misfortune fate of the former Aditya. Being a man from the 21st century, Aditya decides to change his fate. Being married to the 7 goddesses of this world, Aditya walks on a path to prove himself to his wives and to his family. "Goddess of War" "Goddess of Alchemy" "Goddess of Wealth" "Goddess of Wisdom" "Goddess of Lust" "Goddess of Music" "Goddess of Nature" ------ Genre: - Romance, Harem, R-18, Cultivation, Kingdom building, Rare Bloodline, conquer, lightnovel, action, adventure, evolution, system, levelup, transmigration. - - For every 100 Power stones, 1 extra chapter every 200 PS, 2 extra chapter every 300 PS, 3 extra chapter every 400 PS, 4 extra chapter -------- Disclaimer: - The image used is not mine. If the author messages me, I will take down the image.

Dark_Bangali · Urban
4.0
852 Chs

Awakening the Daily Intelligence System

Thirty years old—that was the age people often referred to as the time to stand tall and firm. At this age, some were splendid and dazzling, intoxicated in a world of wealth, while others were desolate and dim, confined to rope beds and clay stoves. Lin Mo belonged to the latter. At thirty, he was still a porter, toiling away to earn a living. His daughter was bullied by a male classmate at school—simply because his family was well-off, the school chose to turn a blind eye. His wife, already pregnant, was secretly working at a supermarket to supplement the household income without his knowledge. As he lay awake looking at his wife by his side and his daughter sleeping soundly in the little bed, Lin Mo felt so aggrieved he shed tears. Despite working hard every day until his back could no longer straighten, he still couldn't change the dire state of their lives. However, it was at this time that the Daily Intelligence System suddenly awoke. [Daily Intelligence has been updated] [1. Neighbor Wang Youcai secretly used his retirement funds to tip 10,000 yuan to a beauty in a live stream under the nickname Black Chicken.] [2. The police will perform a surprise inspection at the Red Romance Foot Bath at 12 o'clock tonight.] [3. Victory Bird will launch a ground assault against Hass in three days.] [4. The pet dog from 1402, Unit 1, Building 5 of Earth Garden Community is missing, and its owner Li Xiaoru is offering a 10,000 yuan reward for its return.] [5. The pet dog belonging to Li Xiaoru that went missing is trapped in a sewage drain on Development Road.] [6…] Initially, Lin Mo just wanted to use this system to make a bit of extra cash to alleviate his stifling life.

Dark eye mask · Urban
3.2
698 Chs
Login