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Demonification
DemonificationLv141yr
2023-07-21 21:47

Writing quality is good except for a few wrong grammar and spelling. Idk anything about the updates Story development is like slice of life a little too slow to my liking Hated the MC's naive way of thinking and showing all of his secrets except for the system. Imagine not leaving a trump card for yourself and just bare it all for others to see World background is just ATG

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Dragon15681
Dragon15681Author

Conveniently forgetting his triumph cards:Developing means not to die, like OP regeneration, ability to reincarnate, creating his broken bloodline from mixing godly legacies, and learning True God Language and using it in runic arrays/formations which he can cast from moments noticeAnd those are his 'triumph' cards.Writing a review from barebones chapters looks absurd.Just my opinion when there are over 150k words more to read you develop those triumph cards as that's the whole point of the story's progress. I get the idea that he has none when the book is at its end, then it would make no sense.Even in the early stages mc already had his triumph card in the form of a powerful regen which he never shared with anyone, even his wife 😑😑😑

Demonification
DemonificationLv14

Fine. You’re right. Making an early review is a lil ridiculous. I had to stop reading at ch 13 because I was too frustrated with your mc. Your MC is like a beta jp mc who doesn’t know how to take advantage of others. I would understand if it was a world like earth but ATG? The rule there is the rule of the jungle. Any advantage you have, keep it to yourself and your close ones. Why let others know that you can open profound entrances when even yun che doesn’t advertise that he knows it, except for his own people.

Dragon15681:Conveniently forgetting his triumph cards:Developing means not to die, like OP regeneration, ability to reincarnate, creating his broken bloodline from mixing godly legacies, and learning True God Language and using it in runic arrays/formations which he can cast from moments noticeAnd those are his 'triumph' cards.Writing a review from barebones chapters looks absurd.Just my opinion when there are over 150k words more to read you develop those triumph cards as that's the whole point of the story's progress. I get the idea that he has none when the book is at its end, then it would make no sense.Even in the early stages mc already had his triumph card in the form of a powerful regen which he never shared with anyone, even his wife 😑😑😑
Dragon15681
Dragon15681Author

He doesn't do? He unlocked all the entrances to the whole Fronzen Cloud after seeing 6 naked fairies and there are thousands of them.His pills don't even open all entrances unless they are heavily consumed. He earned more than anyone for selling grass one grows on the riverside.By the end of it, he earned more than anyone, from becoming Young Master which was only possible because of his honest nature to becoming Feng Xue'er fiance.All I can understand from your complaint is that you want him to be greedy and horde stuff unreasonably because of paranoia about what happened with YC who was hunted down because of his status as someone who has Heavenly Truesure and being from 'Demon Continent'

Demonification:Fine. You’re right. Making an early review is a lil ridiculous. I had to stop reading at ch 13 because I was too frustrated with your mc. Your MC is like a beta jp mc who doesn’t know how to take advantage of others. I would understand if it was a world like earth but ATG? The rule there is the rule of the jungle. Any advantage you have, keep it to yourself and your close ones. Why let others know that you can open profound entrances when even yun che doesn’t advertise that he knows it, except for his own people.
Demonification
DemonificationLv14

Yes. I want him to hoard and be greedy. Nothing wrong with that.

Dragon15681:He doesn't do? He unlocked all the entrances to the whole Fronzen Cloud after seeing 6 naked fairies and there are thousands of them.His pills don't even open all entrances unless they are heavily consumed. He earned more than anyone for selling grass one grows on the riverside.By the end of it, he earned more than anyone, from becoming Young Master which was only possible because of his honest nature to becoming Feng Xue'er fiance.All I can understand from your complaint is that you want him to be greedy and horde stuff unreasonably because of paranoia about what happened with YC who was hunted down because of his status as someone who has Heavenly Truesure and being from 'Demon Continent'
Dragon15681
Dragon15681Author

Yeah, and that's what is happening. But you don't like the fact that he is hoarding/buying an entire continent with river grass. 😑

Demonification:Yes. I want him to hoard and be greedy. Nothing wrong with that.
Other Reviews
Yoh3t
Yoh3tLv4
_VIIX_
_VIIX_Lv11

Another great ATG fic by Dragon. "Man against the Gods" is by far the Best ATG ff I have ever read. And this one goes even above and beyond that. I didn't know that I liked this genre until I tried this. On to the details:Writing Quality(5/5): The author is no amatuer. He's been writing for a while and that shows. Forget about grammar and spelling(it has none of that issue)... the writing style itself is engaging, it's relatable and a reader can flow through the writing. In my opinion it is a good example of "Show, don't tell" while still avoiding jargons in the text to meet a word count quota. The ratio of dialogues and narration is just great.Story development (5/5): This is probably my favourite part. Because most of the ATG ff I've read pretty much follow the same path as YC. Meanwhile here Author doesn't shy away from getting his hands dirty or sidetracking from his destined path. But in essence he created a totally new story with a MC with a totally different perspective than the cultivation pros while not losing the actual essence of ATG world. Basically it is a new story inside the ATG world.Character Design(4.8/5): I love it when fanfiction authors deviate from canon while still keeping the source world integrity stable. It is particularly hard to execute in wish fulfilment fics as at one point the world gets changed so much that you don't really get anything of the source material anymore. Here we have a MC from modern times, with many other experiences. His focus is not cultivation but clan building. What's norm for the cultivators is ridiculous to him. Does that stop him from doing his own thing? Absolutely not. Does he wait and gloat his superior methods on anyone's face? He doesn't have time for that. He simply does what he does best and strives for more. In turn leaving the arrogant ones in the dust. let's leave MC and get to the side characters... It's gonna be a massive harem and that's to be expected of a clan building fic. He acquires a lot of women. and not everyone gets enough screen time. But the important ones are thoroughly fleshed out. Even more than the original, they aren't simple cultivation machine with 1d persona. Here they have their own crafts, hobbies, wants and needs. They have depth to their character.Updating Stability(5/5): You check for yourself. The published dates should be enough of indication about the consistency. World Background(4.9/5): It's your standard world of ATG with some modern ideas modified for 'profound' things sprinkled in the background. Some are exciting, some are not. But that's a matter of personal preference. One thing though. Unlike the original here you don't unlock world phase by phase and forget about the previous part behind. Here it's much more focused on getting all things together. Making it cohesive rather that layered.Overall a great ATG story that I'd recommend to every ATG fan.

OlyasidlO
OlyasidlOLv4

The story is very entertaining and relaxed. It could be said that it focuses more on how the MC develops more of his abilities and how he uses them to break the common sense of the world in which he finds himself. But you can understand why, the MC thinks outside the box and doesn't focus on increasing his strength with the already established methods. The "how can I improve certain aspects of cultivation" is always present, be it with alchemy, matrices, etc. I especially liked that he is realizing the importance of the energy that everyone uses to cultivate, he understands that it is moldable, it can have different attributes, present in everything. Basically, he's achieving "The Dao Of Profound Energy" hehe. The harem could be said to be a secondary bonus, it's not that relevant apart from getting girls (Pokemon), but I really like the interactions he has with his wife and the occasional girl. Especially, the point of view of the girls means that they are not just decorative vases, with this it is understood that they exist and have personality. I recommend improving the interactions with the other characters, since the novel could become a monologue of the MC. Of course not everyone wants chapters with unimportant dialogue, but at the same time it gives the other characters an authentic flavor. For example, I like the MC's first wife, her inner thoughts of being jealous of her or her acting spoiled is nice. I'm not an author, so not how hard it is to make those small changes. But you can say that this fan-fic has potential, so the author should take his time and decide if it is feasible to achieve them and not go against what he seeks to convey in this fan-fic. You can't have the best of both worlds. So I'll see where this fan-fic goes.[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

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