This story has a cool idea, but it seems that the author tried to realize a "wish fulfillment" like the fan-fic "Caminho sem fim" and the only difference and that the MC's phrases cause extreme shame and agony to the readers. I also can't ignore the fact that he has focused so much on developing MC skills that all the chapters so far are purely talking about his great mental and physical "growth", without even going into Re: zero. Not to mention the fact that all "mysteries" are spoken as if they were something totally common, like when Rem talks to "Subaru" (who is now a woman) about his life story just to give an explanation about a mysterious item ( which is where the MC is training) [The author makes some cuts to show the changes he made in re: zero, but all changes are coviniently spoken by his assistant or by some characters from re: zero] (all the characters are made in a cliché way and without personality) I also can't forget the fact that the MC's personality is summed up in this sentence "I need to **** because I'm a virgin and a neet with 8th grade syndrome" {Google translator}
Liked by 6 people
LIKE
Thanks for your honest opinion I do take criticism since this is my first story but I guess this story is not for you.
Yes, I don't like that kind of story very much, but I usually read it because they always have a good skill development, but that development was very long and tedious. But I would be very happy to follow the story if you organized your form of interaction and conversation between the characters. Avoiding them like this: Leo: that day is great! Luna: yes, I agree with you. That kind of interaction where you put the name you are talking about is horrible and shows very little development. I'm not saying that I would do better, but you could study the other Fanfics and imitate the way of writing. Sorry if I look rude, but I can say that you have great ideas, but you were too hurried and put them in a hurried way. you could develop your character in the world of Re: zero, but you were very focused on making an MC OP. (Google translator)
Well like I said I don't promise any thing major but I will finish this volume with this same writing style and try to study other fanfics and when volume 2 come out I will try to write it in a less agonizing way you don't have to tell me I know better than any one that this story is all over the place with the way how its written and I do plan to fix all these chapter in the future but for now I just write for fun you like it or you don't like it but then and again I don't force anyone to read this book to be honest I know how this story ends and I also know my weakness is the way I write and I try to shorten it the best I could but then and again this project is just a project to kill my endless boredom but thanks for the advise doe.
